advise please
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 2:45pm |
Hi I'm a new on this message board. I've been in another board, but I found out about this board and I thought it is the perfect for my current situation.
After 6 months my ex broke up with me, for the first time I am interested in someone. During this 6 months, there are some guys showed interests in me, but I wasn't. I met this guy this past Easter weekend at my friend's co-worker's house party. He joked around and said we should get married so I could stay in the U.S. (I'm a foreigner) and he could get a green card from my country. We both knew we were just kidding.
Well, since this Monday, we've been emailing back and forth. He was really open to me on his email messages, but I haven't been because I just knew him for a few hours. Also, I'm not sure how much I should open my heart to someone I just met. Since my breakup, I've struggling to trust people, especially guy because my ex cheated on me. I even doubt how sincere this new guy's email messages are. Since we're living in the different states, emails have been only a method we communicate. Email is very difficult to understand people, right? But, he hasn't asked my phone number so I haven't asked his neither.
I'm scared of hurting myself again. My friend said that I was too vulnerable right now. How do you find out who this guy really is? Do you think it's impossible to get to know him unless I talk to him face to face?

Hey there, I recognize you ;-)!
I'm glad to hear you met someone new you are interested in, but having done a LDR, I would say, yes, it's very difficult to get to know someone by phone and email. You really do need time together in person. It's not *impossible* (I do know some couples who have made it work and are now married), but it's really, really hard.
Given that, and given your fairly recent breakup, I'd keep your email friendship with this guy strictly platonic for now.
Sheri
<< How do you find out who this guy really is? Do you think it's impossible to get to know him unless I talk to him face to face? >>
You get to know him by spending time with him. It's not very likely that you'll get to know him unless you can spend time with him. And since you live in different states ... well, sorry to be blunt, but ... what's the point? If you want to converse with him, as nothing more than friends ... without potential ... that's fine. But, if you're looking at him as a relationship prospect, youd be better off sticking closer to home. LDRs are tough enough ... but, nearly impossible, IMO, to start out a relationship with distance involved. Rarely works.
Good luck!