Is the age gap that important?
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Is the age gap that important?
| Thu, 12-15-2005 - 12:58am |
I'm 22 and just recently settled down in a new city with a new job after graduating from college last spring. Shortly after moving here, I met a guy that works for the same company I do, but in a different capacity. He's a great guy who is a pleasure to be around. He's an intelligent guy and we seem to share a lot of the same interests. From the first day I met him, there was something about him that I was very much attracted to. Having only been in a few serious relationships in the past, this is the first time I have truly met someone who gives me butterflies every time I see him. I can tell from his words and actions that he shares some of the same feelings, but neither of us has had the courage to confront the situation. Here's where it gets a bit tricky...He's in his mid-30s and I fear that the age difference between us might be preventing him from taking the next step. How can I let him know that I am ok with this, without being too forward? I want him to know I'm interested and that I'm mature enough to be in a committed relationship if that's where this could lead. Any advice??

While you might be wanting a relationship - I think you're overlooking a fact that has nothing to do with age.
He's more life experienced and optioned than you -he's "been there and done that" about a variety of things you haven't yet. He might easily be willing to do them again WITH YOU for your first time. Vacations etc.
But you're at WORK.....and before you go pursuing things at work, take a moment to do some research and review.
If your HR policies prohibit people at the workplace dating - that is why he's not doing i. He's 32....and getting fired for violating a sexual HR policy is NOT going to help him get another job! And he's infinitely more established in his career and his place at that company - than you at 22 are.
So that's likely a factor in this.....he doesn't want to date you end up in a break up - where you claim sexual harrassment. HE might not want to be fired, and he'll certainly be 'high 5'd" at the water cooler for being with a 22 year old hottie...but he'll be low man on the totem pole for raises and promotions - taht's how it works no matter what the policies are.
Just realize that any flirtation or interaction he has with you at this point - it's the same level of interaction he'd have with any other attractive woman showing interest in him.
Don't take his interest personally - and you easily might see that the whole situation doesn't allow pursuit.
Besides, flirtaiton is simply the message 'you're a hottie - back at ya" - there's no indication there of anything beyond ego boost.
There's nothing wrong with work-based flirtation - it's been shown to make productivity rise!
There's alot wrong with workplace seduction and involvement however. Which is why usually flirtation in the workplace if the people are career oriented, intelligent, and self-responsible never becomes seduction or dating!
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
I think age only matters in high school. With that in mind, all the guys I dated (before I was married) were within five years of my own age... because while the number doesn't matter, maturity does. And not just his, but yours too.
"I can tell from his words and actions that he shares some of the same feelings, but neither of us has had the courage to confront the situation.