Am I a fool?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Am I a fool?
19
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:16pm
Long story short - does a man really love you when he's too busy to pick up the phone just to say hello. He says he loves you but doesn't have time for you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 11:20am

i am going through a similar situation. you know, you want to believe when someone tells you they love you, are in love with you but when they can't even pick up the phone to call and say hello or return your messages, you have to wonder.

don't call him. i stopped. i am tired of giving him 'opportunities' to reject me and then call whenever it's convenient for him. i can SOOOOOOOOOOOO relate to what you are saying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 1:54am
i was in that situation before with my ex bf. he worked 24/7, and that was basically his excuse for not calling me,returning my calls or spending time with me. However, i dont really buy that excuse. If one claims that they "love you" or "care about you", they will make time for you. You may want to address that to him first, but if there's no change, then id say he is not worth your time either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Fri, 10-27-2006 - 4:41pm
I've been in a similar situation and have this to offer. If he's busy making plans with other people, going out a lot, not returning your calls, you are NOT on the priority list. Remember the Golden Rule: do onto others as you would have them do onto you. See what happens and the end result will give you the answer you want to know. The other thing is learning to accept the truth. It may be hard, but at least you'll know. Don't sit around waiting for your phone to ring. Hint: get an answering machine and record this: "I'm not at home, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you when I can". Don't return calls for a few days. It's your sanity that you don't want to lose. Good luck and let me know how this goes for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: shortone06
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 4:54pm
If he doesn't have time for you then he doesn't love you. No matter how the time is spent. I would not accept it at all.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: shortone06
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 4:57pm
Also, if the guy is working all the time either he is rich or has bad credit. Not an excuse in my book if you work 24/7 then why date someone and I'd expect great make up gifts also since he works so much. I mean really I understand working 10 hrs a day. I do it but, not 20 hrs and only have time for sleep. That just sounds crazy.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:10pm
Hi! I'm Kim. I've been in similar situation as well. Truthfully it sounds like you could also benefit like I did from reading The Little Black Book Exposed - inside the minds of men. It proved very interesting and enlightening to be honest. A book like this will help you make the right move. The book covers dating and relationships and can definitely help you with your dilemma not to mention help us understand men in general. Hope this helps!
Kim
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 8:55pm
There is no such thing as "not enough time"...the truth is it takes 30 seconds to call you and say "hey, I'm really busy at work, I'll try to call you after, if not then I love you and I'll call you tomorrow. bye."
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 4:22pm

Just to play devil's advocate here --

I think it depends on how often you expect him to call. I'm very busy with my work and so is my BF. We both have our own businesses. There are plenty of times when I don't have time to take 30 seconds to call him just to say hi, and I would think that he was out of his mind and bugging me if he just called me for 30 seconds to say hi. We often go 1 or 2 days without talking on the phone to each other. Both of us are on the phone all day everyday with clients (me), contractors/employees (him), and sometimes the last thing you want to do is put that stinking phone up to your ear. My girlfriends call me a lot more than my BF does, and a lot of times it's a big annoyance. I think it's highly possible that the man loves you and cares about you, but may just not want to chat on the phone at the same intervals you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: shortone06
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 8:06pm
Hey hun, you have been given some serious advice and it has been some time since your original post. I would love to know which advice did you follow? Basically, what has happen in that relationship since then?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
In reply to: shortone06
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 8:32pm
Another book to read is..."He's Just Not That Into You" very good book. When I was having questions about my EX and him not making (in his world having) the time for me....This book was great. I felt it was written just for me...

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