am i just stupid to do it again?
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am i just stupid to do it again?
| Mon, 05-02-2005 - 3:43pm |
well i know i posted asking whether or not i should tell that guy i like him,which i havent but now i have another issue..my exboyfriend and i are friends now, we broke up because he cheated on me well we decided on this kind of FWB things (i know i should just give up on those lol they just cause me so many problems!) but anyway so he was also overseas and he came back and i have stayed at his house twice now...since going out to sea (it was his first time) he has changed a lot, for the better. before he left he didnt have one permanent place to live he would stay at my house or his brothers or his moms, now he has an apartment, him and i are real with each other we dont lie to each other any more his whole attitude on life has changed for the better. but anyway now that we have been spending time together and talking on the phone like everyday im starting to think that i still love him...i know they say once a cheater always a cheater but do you think its possible he really may have changed? i dont know his feelings about all this at this point..i want to tell him how i feel (unlike with the other guy, im not scared to tell my ex) but i know if we decide to get back together now or just wait it out and maybe see what happens later i will have no support from anyone but him and his family and friends. my friends of course think hes stupid and an ass because he cheated on me. when i realized i started to feel this way i couldnt even call my best friend becuase i know she would have sayed i told you so, so i had to call one of his bestfriends cuz i really needed someone to talk to.i dont know do you guys think it would be stupid of me to give him another chance? i know i said i like the other guy but i know hes not ready for a serious relationship and everything and right now thats what i want. i dont know if i would be making a big mistake by bringing this up and possibly getting back with my ex...what do you guys think???

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well i finally talked to him again about not seeing anyone else and we had agreed that we both feel there is no need to see other people because we have each other again and he said he wasnt going to and i said neither am i well on this website thing we both have "myspace" im sure some of you have heard of it...he asked this girl for her number! i dont know what to think should i be mad should i not be able to get mad...when we said we werent gonna see other people we never said that we were officiall together again either..im guessing that was my first mistake i should have said ok then were together and thats that..but i didnt..but i dont know how to react to this comment about that girls number..im starting to think hes just all talk..i told him he better not break my heart again and i said i wont break his but im beginning to think im just on that road to heart break yet again by him...am i crazy or should this really be bothering me the way it is?? what do i say to him??
Hi Lovebites,
oh dear...
He already lied to you??? He said that he did not intend/want to see anyone else either, yet he asked for another girl's number...??? That doesn't sound like a guy who didn't intend on seeing anyone else.
I'm sorry, don't mean to be harsh, but jeez, that was quick! If it were me, I would pull back out of the situation. I wouldn't risk it with a guy who's cheated on me before. But, I'm a spaz about cheating :OP.
I know you both agreed to be free to see other people, but the fact that he told you that he didn't want to see anyone else anyways (after the fact of asking for this girl's number) was so wrong of him...in my opinion.
Hope I'm wrong :O(...hugs!
Yvy.
he asked for her number after he told me that stuff but what a total relief i just talked to his best friend and his best friend did it as a joke because he left his account logged in on his friends computer ...he didnt lie to me! i told his friend he sucks and im gonna smack him when i see him next but im glad i know cuz i woulda felt stupid when my "boyfriend/ not boyfriend" told me that it was his friend lol...i had already told him i want to talk to him and stuff but i have something else i wanna talk to him about too so i wont feel that dumb, thanks anyways tho!
<3 love bites
Just starting out this new relationship by having FWB is a little sketchy to me, and it makes me wonder what this relationship is really based on?
So please don't believe everything he says just because you (supposedly) love him and want it all to work out...Be careful, you have the right to question him (not necessarily in words directed to him), but based on his history with you, you definitely have reason to be doubtful and to watch him closely. You probably don't want to do that, but if this relationship means anything to you, you owe it to yourself to be cautious...You deserve better than being cheated on-though i'm not saying that it'll necessarily happen again...
but just think, what if you agree to dating him exclusively (and it sounds like u've pretty much decided that), and suddenly he pulls a fast one on you? that'd be pretty sad for you, considering how much you're investing in this guy.
I'm curious...
Besides "being cautious" and "taking it slow" what EXACTLY are you two doing to make sure a break up does not happen again? I mean, how are you two talking about the past, understanding what you did, taking responsibilty for what you did, learning from it, growing, etc. Are you doing any of that?
If not, the r'ship won't last, just cuz you take it slow and are cautious. If you both haven't changed yourselves, and learned and taken responsibility then you haven't learned a thing....
and the ONLY way a r'ship works a second, or even a third time around, is if you put the hard work it takes into changing yourself and making it stick.
I wish you all the luck, however, you both need to think beyond "being cautious and tkaing it slow"
~pineapple_girl
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