Am I reading into this too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2009
Am I reading into this too much?
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 10:21pm

I have been friends with this guy for 4 years and over the last year he has been very flirty with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 9:38am

He's with her ultimately because that's what he wants, at least right now.

How do you know he's not the type of guy to cheat? You really don't. All you know is what you've seen of his character so far, and while you may have a lot of experience with him you can't be 100% sure what he's capable of.

Should you give up and move on? What is there to move on from, you're not dating one another, he's in a relationship with someone else - For whatever reason. Who he's with and why has nothing to do with you.

He is with her because he wants to be.
He is flirting with you because he likes flirting with you.
The explanations are very simple.
If he wanted more from you he would have made a real move for you (not just flirting). He hasn't. Find a man who is available if you want any chance at happiness. I fear you are confusing yourself unnecessarily.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 9:42am

Yeah you are reading into this. But you gotta understand that you are keeping that door of opportunity open to him and you probably don't see it.

It could be that he's just outgoing and likes the attention from you and from other girls. As far as his GF is concerned, who knows, he's probably got the maturity of his younger GF. As for you, he knows you and you pay attention to him, so he's gonna know that your a source if that makes any sense. If you keep that door open to your friend, it's going to continue to happen till you make it known to him that it's uncomfortable. I can understand that he's throwing you mixed signals with the flirting, and for you to question his actions.

Just remember something that works everytime, if a guy really wants to be with you, you need to learn to let him chase you. For example, being unavailable to a new guy who has interest in you, and let him call and make plans with you will always work in your favor. If he really wants to be with you, he would have let you know by now. This guy clearly doesn't have an interest other than flirting. If you want it to stop, you need to close that window of opportunity for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 4:02pm

Yes, you are reading too much into his flirting.