Am I wasting my time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2005
Am I wasting my time?
2
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 11:12pm

I will try to make a long story short....

I met this guy online and we went out on 3 dates in the span of about a week, all initiated by him. Then he disappeared for a while because he was taking an exam. I waited til a couple days after the exam and then called him. He seemed happy to hear from me and we went out. He emailed me a few days later to say he had a good time. Then I didnt hear from him again for another week, so I called him, and he invited me out for drinks. Then he disappeared AGAIN for 2 weeks and I didnt hear from him til I eventually called him and we went out again. I know he likes me and likes spending time with me, but he never initiates our dates anymore, I dont hear from him unless I call him.

I also found out from a little cyberstalking (not hard to find his blog) that he is just getting over an ex girlfriend who he wasnt even officially broken up with when we started dating. It was an onagainoffagain entanglement for 3 years, and she made it off again for good. He has mentioned to me that he is getting over a relationship, but hasnt really talked about it.

Am I wasting my time here? I wonder if he isnt gonna get over her in any kind of time frame that I would like. I am not sure whether I should keep calling him or not. He never calls me, but is always happy to hear from me when I do. Its the most perplexing thing to me, usually a guy either likes AND calls, or doesnt like and doesnt call. I dont want to push him, but I would like to feel like this is a mutual thing here. Man, dating in college was a LOT easier! Any advice is appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 9:37am

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He likes you enough to go out with you. He doesn't like you enough to make the effort.
It just seems like he's not ready. Take it for what it's worth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 10:30am
Well if he is off again on again with his ex then why would you even get involved? I mean I am on and off with my ex and I feel sorry for people who dont know the extent of it. I try and date people but it's pointless. I mean if they call me I go out and stuff because it's a distraction but just until I get back with my ex. If they are on and off again it's for a reason. It's not fair to you to have your emotions get involved. There are better relationships out there for you that you dont need to get in the middle of his cycle. Right now his emotions are intertwined with someone else. Best of luck!