Are Things Going to Last !!!!!!
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| Sun, 12-11-2005 - 3:37pm |
Hello! I am new here and just want some opinions! Well I am a 21 year old virgin female and I am seeing a 28 male who is not. He is also my first boyfriend.
He is a very independent and all around good guy. Well this is the thing we have been dating for a month now and on our frist date he took me to his mother house at the ending of the date. Do anyone know what this mean? He also meet my parents this past thanksgiveing. When I talked to him about if he felt that thing are going to fast he sad that no that very thing was good. And I told him that I felt it was going a bit fast. He told me that I am to traditional and that their are to many rules to follow. I know that he falling for me where as the same for me falling for him. I talk to him yesterday and he said his been thinking about us living together which he said it was all up to me. It also seem that he want to be with for a long time because his always talking about the future with me.
Are things going to fast????

<< Are things going to fast????>>
In one phrase: "whoa!" ... yes, too fast.
<< He is also my first boyfriend. >>
Ok, so you're not sure what to expect. Thing is, no two relationships are the same. There's truly no right or wrong, or "rules" ... there's just what's best for both people, and as long as you're both keeping your own best interests in mind and at heart, you'll be fine. However, it is impossible to know, especially this early on, what is or could be in the other person's best interests, kwim?
<< I talk to him yesterday and he said his been thinking about us living together which he said it was all up to me. >>
While there are no "rights" and "wrongs" ... take it from someone who DOES have experience (as I'm sure you'll hear from many more experience men and women here) that a "living together" suggestion, after just ONE MONTH of dating ... is not well, normal. That IS too fast.
So, what you need to ask yourself is "would that be in my best interest?"
Is he considering what's "best" for you upon making that suggestion? In other words, it would be mindful of you to ask him "what are your intentions?"
If you want to make a WISE choice, as well you should, you will suggest that you guys continue getting to know each other before broaching such topics as living together or talks of "the future."
It's great to know his intentions (ie, he intends to get married someday, etc); however, such suggestions, at this stage, with YOU in that picture is, in fact, moving things a bit fast.
<< the thing we have been dating for a month now and on our frist date he took me to his mother house at the ending of the date. Do anyone know what this mean? >>
As for what that means, take just about anything said or done in the first few months of a relationship with a grain of salt. Early on, you're in the height of infatuation ... but, without truly KNOWING the other person, that's all it is ... it's infatuation talking ... it's not based on KNOWING that you know this person, therefore, being able to make an informed decision about your future.
<< He told me that I am to traditional and that their are to many rules to follow. >>
Can you offer us some examples of these "rules"? Thing is, if you're doing what's best and right for you ... it's not up to him to tell you that you are "too this or too that" ... if he does, that's his way of saying "I want you to be more like me" ... ie, less traditional, more unconventional. And, if unconventional isn't what you want to be ... then, don't be. Don't allow him to persuade or convince you that your way isn't the "right" way ... because, if you're following YOUR instinct, and doing what is best and right for you ... and it isn't for him ... then, what you have is two people who don't match. But, what you don't want to do is comform, ok?
You're still young (and inexperienced). He knows this. It could be that, in knowing this, he could attempt to control you or "mold you" to his mold. You've gotta be your own woman! If he likes you for you, and wants to get to know you in a way that works for you, and not just him, he'll compromise and strike a balance with you.
However, I do see his telling you that you're "too traditional" as a first sign that isn't ready to accept you just as you are.
>>>However, I do see his telling you that you're "too traditional" as a first sign that isn't ready to accept you just as you are<<<
Hello!! I just wanted to say thank you for your respond.
To your question to me. What does he mean your to traditional? On the night of thankgiving when he was ready to go we both walk to the elevator and we kissed for a while. As we pull away I said I love you. I was shock of what had come out my mouth and quickly took L word back. His reaction was why I took it back I didn't tell him and so told him just to go on home. So the next day which was a friday I ask him if he was shock by what I had said and he said no. I said that I thiked that it was to soon to say something like that only because we were just been date for a few week . My reason for being shock was how fast I was falling for this guy. He as so said that it would take the 2 people forever to enjoy each other if they go rule by rule. He didn't mind me saying that and said just want to be myself.
Now I have another question if you can give some answare too. In the first week of date we would talk every other day. and then after I told I love him two, three, even four days in a row would go by with out every talk,is this a bad thing. But also I told him that if he was very busy that he didn't have to call or maybe he took it in a different way that I didn't want him to call me every day. I don't know. But anyway he could just leave me an e-mail if we don't talk in that long amout of time. Because when I didn't hear for him in two day I leave two e-mail him which was two week ago that was the last e-mail I wrote to him. But the good thing is that he did respond to my e-mail the same day and called the very next day. But him calling me every two or three day make me question if him really want to be with me. I feel like I am geting mix message.
With the removing in thing he said that the next level for us but only when I am ready. Which I am not.
Well, many times when things are new and get going two people talk quite often and for a length of time. But, as time goes by people do not talk as much. But, if it bothers you then ask him why he doesn’t call daily but to me it is normal. Just like when couples begin dating they are constantly together then over time the time spent seems less and less because they are back into daily lives. Not that it is a bad thing. I look at my guy and I we meet and it was like a week or two was so hard to make it through not seeing each other. Now, we just go with the flow and do not mind if it goes that long because first long distance and second we have lives and things to get through. Our phone conversations would be hours long and sometimes we aren’t even on the phone for 5 mins. Our emails use to be pages long and now it is a sentence or two.
Marie