Authentic love for authentic happiness

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Authentic love for authentic happiness
4
Wed, 04-08-2009 - 7:14am
I've always wondered if relationships are worth fighting for specially these days when divorce are so common. I've been in this board for more than 2 years now, and been able to reach out with different people with different stories to share. I figured that lots of authentic relationships were put to waste. Men and women who are too competent specially in careers have forgotten the real essence of a fulfilling relationship and that at the end of the day, each one of us keep thinking all the "what ifs" kind of question but never really tried to figure out any of the answers.. While some are brave enough to get out there and figure what matters.. I'm a competent young girl who currently pursuing a doctorate degree, just like any other young adult, I'm a go getter and passionate. I have been wondering if I'm just inlove with the idea of love. I have been in an authentic relationship and I lost it for my dreams. I regret losing the love of my life but I don't regret giving him the chance to be happy with someone else.. Now I wonder what's out there for me.. Not that I'm unhappy now..in fact I'm enjoying my single life, doing my passion and engaging into interesting activities. I just wonder if there's really this life changing experience wherein you're meant for someone.. I'm an all or nothing girl and I want a genuine one. I'd rather not get married if not for an authentic relationship wit an real guy...=)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Wed, 04-08-2009 - 9:48am
It's okay to be in love with love - It's the reason romantic movies are made, romance and love are a huge part of our culture and in many cases, life motivation. Love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all we need is love! But I think one of the things that may dampen the idea of romantic love is having EXPECTATIONS for it - That your heart will feel like butterflies, he will whisk you away to a paradise and marry you, there will never be problems and you will live happily ever after. That is the dream that hurts when the dream of fairy-tale love becomes reality. Love, even in the real world, is wonderful and secure and content and exciting, but it's not a fairy tale. It comes with ups and downs, and one of the wonderful parts about love is that even when there ARE bad times - and there will be - you see one another through them. Young people (yes my age, 26) tend to be very selfish in love and try to fulfill themselves before all else. I think that when you find the right person and are happy together, it is easy to put that person before yourself because you know they will do the same for you. True love is selfless because it is SAFE to be selfless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Wed, 04-08-2009 - 8:01pm

When you say you lost love for your dreams - what are those dreams?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:00am

I echo what's already been said here - it's okay to be in love with love, just don't have unrealistic expectations that when you fall it love it will happen like it does in the movies. Sure, sometimes it can be like a fairytale, but more often than not, the reality falls short of that ideal, and no matter how much you love someone, you will have disagreements and problems to work through. The right guy will come along and, while he may not necessarily ride up on a white horse and sweep you off your feet to his castle in the clouds, that will be okay and you'll find happiness in the little things that really matter most. Till then, I think right now it's best to just do your thing, get your degree, and keep enjoying your singlehood. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Sat, 04-11-2009 - 10:41am
Thank you and I appreciate all those wonderful advise filled with wisdom.. I just wanna make sure not a single time of my life will be put to waste.. I chose to live every minute of my life with passion no matter how hard things may be. And one thing I've learned is that perhaps the most difficult thing we are about to face is our real feelings. We hold back, its easier to be angry than choosing to care. More people tend to be more apathetic. I can't blame this new generation though..It's maybe the constant challenges that make each one of us hold back.. I was inspired by my late grandparents' love for each other..It's not the usual fancy fairy tale love story but it's more like reality.. I mean they experienced so many trials but still they chose to be with each other for the rest of their lives. And I witnessed how the romance between them never died down as they grew old, how they looked at each other filled with fondness and sincerity..mixed emotions. Its beautiful and real. And I know it takes courage for two people to admit to themselves that what they're feeling is real...