AWEFUL!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
AWEFUL!!!!
7
Sun, 11-01-2009 - 5:13pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: citygal25
Sun, 11-01-2009 - 5:23pm

Well, it's pretty stupid of him to invite you to a party where there's another woman he's sleeping with. That's just dumb. What a moron.

But you're falling for him after only two months when you're not exclusive? I think you were giving your heart away too quickly and allowing yourself to get upset over a man who didn't "belong" to you. I don't think he cares THAT much about you, not enough to date only you, but you knew that already.

You sold yourself short. You're not wrong for feeling the way you do, but it could have been avoided by preventing yourself from getting attached too soon. Two months is a really short amount of time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
In reply to: citygal25
Sun, 11-01-2009 - 6:40pm
Actually, I do not think 2 months is too short of time to develop feelings for someone. And to say I shouldn't develop feelings for someone who doesn't belong to me doesn't make any sense because I would never become exclusive with someone in the first place if I didn't have feelings for them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: citygal25
Sun, 11-01-2009 - 6:56pm
When did I say you shouldn't "develop feelings" for him? Please quote.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2009
In reply to: citygal25
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 11:15am

With all due respect.. what did you mean by this then?


'...but you're falling for him after only two months when you're not exclusive? I think you were giving your heart away too quickly and allowing yourself to get upset over a man who didn't "belong" to you'


I think this very clearly implies 'you shouldn't develop feelings for him'.


This isn't the first time here on village that I've come accross this 'but I never said it in those exact

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
In reply to: citygal25
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 12:50pm

I get that we werent serious, but to flaunt something in my face like that is just plain disrespectful. Am I wrong in thinking that?


I'm sorry, but yes you are wrong for thinking that. In the fact that you were "seeing not exclusively" means that he doesn't OWE you respect to not flaunt the other women he is "seeing" in your face. It's not very nice, but you're expecting a level of respect that you don't deserve because you agreed to be one of the many when you agreed "see" him but to not be exclusive.


This man has told me how much he cares for me, how we have a great connection...blah blah blah. How can someone do that to someone they care about then?!


Well of course he told you how much he cares and the great connection. He was getting something from you for nothing. If he was bluntly honest and said "damn baby, it sure is fun having shallow meaningless sex with you and and an added bonus that I don't hate you, this is great that I don't owe you anything" you wouldn't have continued giving him a minute of your time. How can someone do that? Because words are empty and easy. You weren't requiring him to back up his words with truth in action.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: citygal25
Tue, 11-03-2009 - 6:55pm
There's a difference between developing feelings for someone and getting too emotionally attached to a guy who doesn't want you exclusively. If you're not exclusive with someone it's best to make an effort not to invest too much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
In reply to: citygal25
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 3:28pm

The OP isn't interested in debating whether she should have feelings for someone she just started dating two months ago. She wanted to know if she should be upset by what he did. I would be upset.


Of course it is understood that he would be dating other people if you are not exclusive. But so can you. How would he feel if you brought another date to his party? I'm sure he would have found some disrespect in that. While you can't control who he brings, you at least deserve a heads up. He should have let you know someone else he was interested in would be at this party. But he didn't. It shows he isn't very respectful of your feelings.


Maybe its time to distance yourself from him. My advice in the future is to try and not develop feelings for someone who is not willing to give you full time and devotion. Good Luck :) And to the PP who referenced prostitution in her post? Not the first time you have done so, and not related to what is happening here. Please try to be more sensitive to our posters. Thanks!