baby making drama

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
baby making drama
5
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:36pm
Please please please help me. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 4 years on and off I am 19 years old. I was 15 when we 1st got together. We have been together solidly for a year now. My partner really wants me to have his baby, and I really want to as well. Trouble is we have been trying now for a year with no luck at all.. I find it really depressing when I see kids now, I feel like I am gonna cry I mean really what is the point of me being alive if I cant reproduce. I have told my partner how I feel but he just says keep trying, but he doesnt understand how it feels to be the woman in this relationship I feel like I am responsible, especially due to the fact that he already has a child. (Who by the way lives a few doors away- therfore even more depressing). I cant go to the doctors coz they will probably laugh as they will see me as too young. Now he has gone to prison, he will be there for at least another 6 months so I will not be able to try during this time. So I do not know whether or not I am infertile. It deeply saddens me because thats all I want in life is to be able to start a family, I dont want no big car no mansion i dont even wanna be rich all I want is to have his baby. At first I thought it was gonna be sooo easy but it is turning into a nightmare. And to make it worse 99.9% of my friends have babys so when I see them I cant help but feel jealous, what am I gonna do. If you have any advice please reply asap. thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 2:24pm
Welcome to the board.. I am sure you will benefit a lot from the references given in the previous post. Also, just because your trying to have a child doesn't mean it will happen just like that. There are many things (especially stress) that can keep your body out of sorts which is not good when trying to conceive. Go ahead try those links out and go to a doctor just for a normal physical and gyno exam to make sure physically your ok. Best of luck

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2005
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 10:00am
Huh?? Wasn't it your post that I just replied to? The one about your soulmate getting wrongfully jailed for a year and you being suicidal?? How can you be in two relationships at the same time and have all that drama in your life? Or am I missing something..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:47pm
Before you start trying to have a baby, spend some time getting ready to raise a baby. You may not want to be rich, but I assume you want to be able to pay your bills, put food on the table, and buy shoes for your child as well as the occasional toy. In order to do that, you need a good job and a strong sense of who you are. It's a good thing you will have some time away from your boyfriend to work on these issues. Contrary to your feelings right now, there is more to being alive than the ability to reproduce.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 12:35am
Stop trying thats when it happens. My sister had the same problem they tried for two years straight, when they gave up is when they made it happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 10:57pm

BlueBerry,
Again, I see red flags all over the place. When I was 19 I hated hearing about how my age was a factor. At your age you really should be exactly that, your age. You have lot's of time to have kids one day. Even if it is next year..........you will still only be 20 years old and that is still just fine.
Have you considered once that maybe you aren't getting pregnant, because it isn't what life has in store for you right now? It appears by what I am reading that life has bigger and better things in store for you. Don't rush or push something that isn't to be RIGHT NOW. That doesn't mean that it can't happen in the future.
I really suggest that you enjoy being YOUNG, because once you are a mother you will be a mother for the rest of your life. Which is a joyous thing, but you have this time to yourself just this once. Grab on to it and do things you have always wanted to do. Enjoy being you and learning who you are. You won't be a good teacher to your child if you didn't experience all the things you wanted to experience.
It seems to be life has more to show you before you become a Mother. Why don't you just put off the "baby making drama" for a bit and just open your arms to what life is offering up right now. JUST BE YOU FOR AWHILE AND ENJOY THIS TIME!!!

Best Wishes & Happy New Year,

AprilShowers