Believe in soulmates/love at 1st site??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Believe in soulmates/love at 1st site??
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 10:47pm

A few times in my life, I've had instant "chemistry," an instant attraction to a man. One time it was at an art gallery and I barely talked to him but I saw him and felt this warm feeling going through me and I wanted to talk to him but I left! I couldn't stop thinking about it all night afterwards...

A guy I know gave me the same feeling but I was in a relationship. The relationship was kind of going downhill but I wasn't about to start cheating by hanging out with him alone. I felt this instant feeling though. I don't find him super attractive, well not super hot or good looking, and he's not my type because he's only 5'7". But, I felt "in love." The more I saw him, the more I felt it. My relationship ended and I ended up writing him a message on FaceBook asking him to call me.

He called and I asked him out. Well, we talked during the week before our date and have EVERYTHING in common. We get along so well! And I felt more of that feeling for him. We went on this fantastic date and he kissed me afterwards and it was like a fairy tale, seriously!

So we went on our date last weekend but I feel so CLOSE to him and he feels the same. He said that he feels we're on the same page about most everything and he wants to see me more too. I feel like he could be the one! Now, he said we should move at whatever pace makes me feel comfortable but I want to go all in now! I've been open about my feelings that I like him but haven't said anything about that feeling. But it seems he had the same feeling for me because he said he wanted to ask me out but though that I'd turn him down and didn't know if I was still with the other guy.

What do you think? Does anyone believe in love at first site? Or a soulmate? I feel like this could be something really important. Though he's not the body type I've seen myself with he's the person I've seen myself with. At dinner no one else in the room mattered but him. I smile when I think of him... My roommate noticed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 11:32am

I'm very happy for you! It's wonderful when two people have crazy for you chemistry. No, I don't believe in love at first sight--I believe in attraction and infatuation at first sight. It takes time to really grow to love someone. Chemistry is not something someone chooses. It's either there or it's not. Is he the one? Only time will tell. I believe that chemistry is a must for successful couples, as there cannot be ongoing passion and the wow factor when you're gazing at your beloved. I wouldn't want to be with someone

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2010
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:26pm

Aw thats a really cute story, glad you found someone you get crazy feelings over when you see them. I agree that chemistry at first sight is possible, but love takes some growing. I mean you can love everything about someone when you first see them and get to know them, but it really takes time to learn about each other and love can grow stronger and stronger with each date. I think the best relationships are ones

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2009
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 2:53pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 11:06pm

Sounds like you have what it takes for a really great beginning of a relationship. Mutual attraction, lots in common, those wonderful/horrible butterflies in your stomachs. Awesome. And enjoy!

While a romantic, I don't believe in soul mates because I believe there are any number of people that given the right circumstances we could end up with and be perfectly satisfied. To me what makes a connection special is the relationship that you build over time. You can't speed up time together. It just has to happen, one day at a time.

But at the same time, don't ignore your gut. Sounds like one could be a keeper, just don't get too ahead of yourself. And have fun!

Going through a break-up? Me too! In fact, I've got a whole blog about it.
(Ex)Grad Student Girlfriend: The Journey of Getting Over My PhD Student Ex-Boyfriend
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 3:31am

Instant chemistry and head-over-heels infatuation, yes. Love, no. It's just not something that can happen instantly.

It's a perfectly good way to start a long term relationship though. Best of luck :O)

Meez 3D avatar avatars games
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 12:11pm

"Does anyone believe in love at first site?"

No, love does not happen that quickly. Love takes time and trust. Now LUST at first site, sure!

Soul mates? I think there are many people walking this earth that could essentially be our life partners and we could be happy with them. I don't think there is just one meant for us. So I guess I don't believe in soul mates either.