bf talking about marriage and proposals

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
bf talking about marriage and proposals
Fri, 05-07-2010 - 10:38pm


So Iam a little confused. The other day in the car my bf had this awful rap type song on and he said this will be our wedding song. I know he was joking though. But Iam confused because we've had alot of issues,mainly because of me, and he began looking at me differently (in a bad way).The last month and a half however I had made HUGE changes and things have been perfect between us. But I don't understand why he would make a comment like that,about "our wedding song" after everything we've been thorugh,he's feeling that confident already?

And just two days ago I was telling him about my best friends sister who just got engaged and how it was at a restaurant. He started saying how cheesy that is then began asking me what I thought was romantic as far as proposals.I told him to me nothing really would be that romantic,I mean a restaurant is tacky and niagara falls to me would be romantic but yet still cheesy.I can't think of an engagement scenario that isn't tacky. He then asked if I thought going back to a first date place is tacky.I hadn't thought of that and I actually thought that would be incredibly romantic.However for us our first date was at a miniputt place,full of neon that however would be unromantic. When I said this he just said "oh". That night he was talking about how his brother is buying a house and getting married soon.He was also saying how a girl at his work is getting married soon. I don't undesrtand what is going through his head because usually guys at age 24 do not talk about these kinds of things.It freaks them out. I used to talk about things like that but he would change the subject or make jokes about it. Hes also been talking about me having a baby vs my body size.He says hes worried I won't be able to have a baby because Iam so small.I asked him why he ramdonly started talking about proposals and marriage and he acted as if he wasn't and that it was no big deal.He just said I dunno who cares.Almost seemed like he got angry when I asked him and he didn't want to talk about it.Im really confused by him.Any thoughts? Can anyone maybe be able to give me an idea of what he might be thinking?



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 12:46am

He's reacting to his happiness level with the relationship right now. Men generally feel good about marriage when they are happy, and wary of it when they are not.

I can't predict whether or not he's going to propose to you, but just enjoy the happiness. Six weeks isn't a long time to be back on track, take things one day at a time but you don't have to question the signs that he's happy right now. That's all it means for the moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 6:59pm

"But Iam confused because we've had alot of issues,mainly because of me, and he began looking at me differently (in a bad way)."

Can you explain this sentence and provide more information? Why did he start looking at you in a bad way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2005
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 12:30am

i just think he's feeling you out about how YOU personally think about the wedding/marriage/baby talks with HIM. he turns them into a joke to not get serious about it, bc like you said, guys at that age don't that that seriously. they want to have fun still. so, enjoy the silly jokes. play along. he's in a good mood with you, that's why he brings those little details up. and, notice that at the beginning, only HE can talk about it. YOU can't detail on the idea of marriage yet, bc he's not being serious. he'll just counter with jokes and not caring after that.

he was just in a good mood with you, and is giving himself the possibility that maybe one day sometime he will probably think about the possibility of proposing to you, yknow? hahaha. so it's not a sure thing. (yet). don't count on it, until you BOTH can talk about marriage and proposals without joking around and still smile at each other. wink wink. and that's a year or so later when you both experience more of life together as a couple.

hope that helps.