Boyfriend is emailing with his EX!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Boyfriend is emailing with his EX!!
3
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:39pm
xx


Edited 6/13/2006 8:05 am ET by linds2177
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 9:55pm

Please do not make yourself crazy over this! Many people innocently stay in touch with their EXs and it doesn't mean that there is an intention to get back together. I speak with and ocassionally exchange emails with some of my ex-boyfriends but I don't have any romantic feelings for them anymore. It is natural to be curious about an ex's love life but please don't think that your boyfriend and his ex are making plans for the future. They broke up for a reason! He's with YOU now. His friendly feelings towards his ex will have no affect whatsoever on his relationship with you. My new boyfriend still talks to his ex girlfriends and I find the thought of it to be a bit annoying but I think back to myself. It means nothing. Don't worry.

In regards to how you found out: I would avoid looking for things that could potentially hurt you and your relationship. Good luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2006
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 9:05am
I wouldnt worry to much about it , like gemini said hes with you now and and there is a reason for them for being broken up. Iam also seeing a guy who still talks to his ex and sometimes its hard for me to understand it but i know that he just thinks of her as a friend and nothing else. He still talks to her family also and is going to her sisters wedding here next month and the reason being is that he became close to them and they still treat him like hes part of the family. So i know what your going thru with this , but i do think that you should stop looking at his emails. Just talk to him and tell him how you feel about this and you have to trust him too. Hope this works out for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 9:16am

You poor thing, have just gone through the same thing myself recently and I drove myself crazy with all the different scenarios I was creating in my head, all of which seem to be unfounded so far.

His first ever love got back in touch via email after 13 years apart. He has been married and divorced since but still I kept thinking that you never forget your first love and he was bound to get back with her. He told me from the start that she had contacted him and he would probably reply. She lives in another country with her partner and their 3 kids but still I worried.

He offered to show me the emails of which I declined but I still got quite angry with him over it, asking if he had mentioned me and what she had said to him. He said they had talked about their kids, work and his divorce, just a few catch up emails and that they had now tailed off anyway. It did bring a lot of my worries out in the open about her and other things I had been driving myself scatty thinking about.

As he said to me, she is his ex, he broke up with her for a reason and he never wants to go back there again, he wants to be with me and only me and I have to understand that all she will ever be to him now is his ex girlfriend.

Whatever you are imagining is 10 times worse that what is probably going on. I have a friend who is in touch with all her exes and even see them from time to time without her current boyfriend. Its never a problem as he understands she is with him now and knows she wonts cheat.

So just try and put this to the back of your mind, im certain it means nothing, and stop looking at his emails.

Trust me when I say you will become your own worst enemy by keeping on looking at them and thinking the worst.

Big hugs.
x