boyfriend moved out - need opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
boyfriend moved out - need opinions
8
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 11:47am

Hi


As most of us say - it's a long story.


I'll start by saying I'm 34 and my ex will be 30 this year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 3:31pm

Here's what he thinks: At the moment I'm happy living with the fun girl because I'm not happy living with the stable girl.

Beyond that, it doesn't really matter. He moved on to someone else, it's time for you to move on too - And that means not supporting him in any way. Do men ever come back? Rarely. They usually move on to a woman who doesn't allow herself to be strung along or taken advantage of. This exact situation happened to my best friend recently, he's still playing around with the fun girl and offering her almost nothing while my friend finally became wise enough to find a man who worships her.

"It's hard" isn't a reason to keep grasping on to something that is not good for you. You know you should be gone (he is gone already), and that fact doesn't make the decision any easier, but you're in a relationship here alone by yourself and the sooner you let go of it, the sooner you will thank yourself.

One of the most difficult things in this world is finding acceptance. This is your only ticket out of your misery. I'm sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 1:22am

PLEASE ignore Undercovercrab's post, especially her very ignorant sentence, "They usually move on to a woman who doesn't allow herself to be strung along or taken advantage of."

Nowhere in your post did I see that this man wants to do anything of that sort, especially take advantage of you. I hate to say it but the way you word paragraphs don't help me understand your relationship with him so I can't see how the person who responded would get that view. I even had my boyfriend read your post and he actually encouraged me to point out the other poster's response as ignorant. Sorry.

So, basically I am responding from both a female and male point-of-view since he gave me advice as what to say as well.

First, why did your boyfriend feel your family didn't approve and didn't want him around? You should really clarify! Did you support him in this time where your family didn't approve?

The only way for anyone to truly get why your boyfriend felt he needed to move on because he wasn't happy inside is if you clarify. You really didn't give much information about your relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 8:23am

there's so much to put into a paragraph about our relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 10:29am
It's possible to disagree without calling others "ignorant" you know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 05-28-2010 - 1:42am

Elle, I think both your and Crab's posts have merit. Getting different opinions is one of the advantages of message boards.

Also, if you want to disagree with someone, try the phrase "I've got a different approach to X" It will reflect far more nicely on you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 7:50am

Hi - It stinks that you are in pain.


The title of your post says it all..."boyfriend moved out".

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 7:29pm

Thank you!


I know it's all common sense but it's easier to say to someone than actually realize for yourself in the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 8:15pm

You are so, so, so, so right that it is MUCH, MUCH, MUCH easier for someone else to tell you things.

Missy