breaking up...
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breaking up...
| Fri, 02-24-2006 - 9:26am |
Hi, I have been thinking about things alot latelty and trying to put in perspective what I want and need in a relationship. While I was away on vacation last week I realy could not understand what I was holding on for. I am unhappy he is unhappy so what is the point? Love? I really thought about that..Am I in love? I though I was..or maybe am I just scared of being alone? I dont know anymore. Why am I settling for less than I want and deserve in a relationship? I could not even give an answer to this. He has been so distant anyway in that he does not want to stay the nite, does not really talk to me, is secretive with his phone ( locks it or puts it on silent when he is at my house), wont go out anywhere or do anythig with me. So I decided to end things this week and break up with him because frankly I can not see why I would want to stay there is nothing there anymore (maybe the never was). As he was leaving the other nite I told him that I basically can not take this anymore. I told him that I cant stand how he treats me, that he is so cold, etc..I told him that I need love, affection, and attention. That I could not take him walking all over me and taking me for granted. He got angry and asked why I was doing this and kept arguing with me for 4 hours about it until I gave up and went to bed. Now we are still in the same perdicament two days later. He has decided that he will not stay at my house because he does not want to have to deal with my loud roomate waking him up in the morning. He stayed one nite this week and slept on the couch because he did not have a ride home. He wants me to kick my roomate out so he can move in and told me he will not stay overnite until my roomate is gone. He is making unrealistic expectation on me and it is like it is trying to spite me by withholding time. I dont even know anymore. I really hate settling for this and having to deal with him doing as he pleases all the time. Coming and going when he wants to and expects me to just take it and deal with it. His excuse is always about my roomate "since I make him deal with it" then I have to deal with his crap. And basically he can treat me anyway and see me on his terms because of it. He has been so mean lately and I really cant take it and it is pointless to even talk about it because he never hears what I am saying. He always reverts it back to him and ho I treat him. I think I treat him dam good and all he can see is my roomate still living there. He treats me like crap and think he has the right because of it. So there we have it. I need to get it all out sorry for so long. I know I really need to end it because my chance at happiness with him is just so far and unreachable. I tried to talk to him about it and end it but he just argued about it and at the end of the conversation had me thinking I was wrong. So what is my best option at this point?

crk21....
PG has 3 suggestions:
1. No more sleepovers from the b/f.
2. No more ultimatums from the b/f.
3. No more b/f!
What he's doing is attempting to manipulate you! Now if that's what you honestly from ANY MAN...that's up to you. But I got the impression from your very long post that you want to break free of the control freak!
The only way you'll pull this off is BECOME A BIG GIRL AND TELL THE JERK TO "GET LOST!" AND MEAN IT!
Pianoguy
I agree with PG...this shouldn't be a debate or a discussion, just you presenting him with your decision to end it. If you need to do it over the phone because it's too hard to not allow him to engage you in a debate in person, so be it. "This isn't working for me anymore, I'm not happy, so I'm ending our relationship. Please respect my decision, good-bye". Then take action to prevent him from contacting you...block him from calling or emailing, etc.
You *are* making the right decision, please don't doubt that for a moment!
Sheri