Broke first date, is it even worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Broke first date, is it even worth it?
5
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 5:31am

Well, it seems she has been playing hard to get at the meeting stage, anyway, i was able to talk to her on phone and we agreed on a date on Friday. Thursday morning, i got a text msg like this
"I have bad news, I cant go out on Friday"

Is this even normal? Without even giving any reason, is she trying to make me crazy thinking what else she would be doing on friday or what? Right now i dont know what to do, i havent reply or call her.

i was bored on friday nite and for the hell of it, I text msg her. I was thinking either way, i dont care much now and I should play this game too. I pretend like I never got a cancelation msg.

I texted her at 12AM like this :" Hey I had to work overtime and i forgot my phone at my friend place, did you have to wait".

What do you guys think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 6:49pm

I think that you're wasting your time. There is one of two things wrong with this potential relationship:

1. She doesn't want to date you
or
2. She's into playing games. And let's face it, who wants to bother with someone who plays those silly dating games?

Look for someone who's straight up about how they feel.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 3:00am
Here's a crazy idea. Maybe she just couldn't make it on Friday. If you don't want to be with someone who plays games, then don't play games. Be straightforward and honest. If you suspect she's not doing the same, then confront her about it in a direct way. And if she still hedges and fools around, tell her you need to be with someone who cares enough to be honest with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 6:44pm

>>Here's a crazy idea. Maybe she just couldn't make it on Friday<<

Nope, I strongly disagree. One doesn't stand up a partner by txt if they want to continue the relationship. Standing someone up by text is truly bad form. And one only does it so as to avoid having to speak to their date.

Yes, sometimes dates do need to be cancelled, but there are correct ways to do it. If you have to cancel a date - but want to continue the relationship - you pick up the phone. You give a legitimate reason and ask to make a new date. It's all about courtesy and communication.

Aisha (wearing her "Miss Manners" hat)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 12:18pm
I'm confused. I thought this was your 1st date with someone new, but in your last email you said "partner". In any case, I agree with you that to cancel a date (with someone new or someone you know) via text is wrong. Its cowardly...but then there are lots of people who can't be honest and considerate. I wouldn't get into the texting game. Call and ask her out on another date and see what happens. If she cancels again at the last minute, I'd move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 9:02pm
You should consider communicating with her somehow and request or tell her to give you a call, text message or email. The method of contact is up to you and what you and her are comfortable with. If she doesn't respond don't contact her again. Move on. She should apologize for breaking the date anyway. You are being a gentleman and and adult by giving her a last chance for her to do the right thing. She should call you back and ask you out or to get together or something. She is the one that was or may have been rude. You don't know what happened She may have had a personal problem to deal with. You just don't know. She is the one that owes you an explaination or a phone call or some sort of communication. Only one more attempt on your part to give her a chance. You deserve a relationship with a responsible adult. You also need to act like a responsible adult and move on if she doesn't contact you. Don't worry there are lots of clams in the sea!....I mean fish thats it..fish in the sea!....Whatever.....LOL Good Luck