can it be different this time?
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| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 9:39pm |
Hi girls,
I havent been to this board in a very long time. I was here around this time last year recovering from a difficult break up. A lot of you really helped me through it. Well, not I am back with the guy. I will try to make this as brief as possible.
This guy and I broke up last February b/c he basically wigged out and ignored me when his friends came in town one weekend after we were dating for 4 months. So, he told me he knew it wasnt working and he did that to push me away. I was in my last year of law school and he was in his first. So, we didnt talk for a bit then we started hanging out/hooking up again. Well that went awfully b/c I still had emotions, of course. So we stopped that and I moved after graduation (8 hours away). I cut off all contact even though he tried to call about 4 times over the summer. He called the night before the bar to wish me luck and I again didnt answer.
I am good friends with his sister also, which is sort of how I met him. And, it was also a huge pain in the asz during our relationship.
I think I eventually called him back and we caught up and he told me he had been seeing someone over the summer and it didnt go so well and I told him that I was also dating around some. So, I thought cool, we can be friends. Well he headed back to New Orleans for law school. I made plans to visit his sister in another state. Well then Katrina happened and he had to move home. So, when I went to visit in October he was there, which i didnt know when I planned the trip. Needless to say the spark was still there ten fold. So, I ended up spending most of the trip with him. Well I left and we talked and he flew to visit me. We decided (I decided) we would keep dating other people. We made plans for a trip right after xmas to the bahamas for 7 days. We had an amazing time. And, now we are together again long distance. I am pretty happy with the way things are going. He is doing everything right, not perfect, but pretty good. But, I have my mom and my best friend wondering what I am doing back with this guy. They promise me it will go nowhere. I don't know what to think. I am tormenting myself with the what ifs and wondering if he will wig out like he did before. But, no one has a crystal ball. So, do I risk it or not? Which goes back to my original question, can they change....will it be different this time???
Any ideas/advice?

Enjoy the ride, but sleep with one eye open.
People can change, and situations/relationships can change. So there is a strong possibility that things will work out for the best. But keep in mind that there was a reason why things did not work the first time. I say be mindful of the past, but give him a chance. You never know. But remember, you don't have an excuse to be extremely open because he has shown you another side, so don't give him the benefit of the doubt. He lost that priviledge. Put a time limit on it though, he shouldn't have to pay for sins of the past a year down the road. Only you can gage at what point in time or in your relationship that you can let it go.
Only time will tell, so again, just enjoy the ride.
Good luck on your journey. '
Bittersweet