Can we really let go of our 1 true love?
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Can we really let go of our 1 true love?
| Sat, 01-07-2006 - 8:23am |
When a relationship with your "one true love" doesn't go as you've planned....and you know that the time has come to make the choice,,, either to keep working at it...or to move on with you life,,,,,.......I do believe when you love someone and I mean really love someone you try everything you can to save what you think is worth saving,,,,,,but there comes a time when it's like you can't take it anymore,,,,that you have tried and done everything you could,,,,,,then thats when we decide I don't need him ,,,I don't want him,,,he cheated,,or he lies,,,or his ex is still in the picture,,,,,whatever the case may be,,,,,,, If your in a situation where you know you have given it all your best through good times and in bad,,,,,,,,when we decide to let go of our 1 true love .....to start aknew ....Do we really let go of them?.....Better yet can we? ,,,,,,,The reason I ask this is because we tell our selves I'm over him or I'm gonna find someone better,,,,,,that may be true,,, ,,,,,,,,,,but I don't understand is it possible to start a new realationship with someone else orr have a notion that you are able to really move on with you life?...If thats the case why ,,,sometimes,,,,,in our back of our mind does our 1 true love still lingers on,,,,,that the love and desires don't fade away as one would hope,,,as one would hope it would with time,,,,,Can we really start of over and try to fall in love with someone else knowing that you just can't stop loving or thinking about your 1 true love? ...Wondering what could be or what could of been?

I'm very rational about this kind of stuff. The way I view it, if there are many issues in the relationship then he's NOT your one true love. Perhaps you are in love with the idea of "what it could be" or "what it used to be"?
Trust me, the relationship with Mr Right is easy. There are no big issues to work through and you fit together like pieces of a jigsaw. Life together is calm and easy and there are no tears or frustration. I've been with my Mr Right for 13 years and it's been wonderful all the way through.
Don't settle for anything less.
I was married to Mr. Right for 21 years. He left me 18 months ago with a home, bills and 4 kids, to be with his OW. In time I stopped loving him and have now found other places and people to direct my love and caring.
As iv_aisha2004 said, and said it best, " Perhaps you are in love with the idea of "what it could be" or "what it used to be"?"
I had someone say this to me when my marriage slipped away, at that time it didnt mean much. But as time went on I realized she was right. I wanted what I used to have or could of had in the future. The man I fell in love with no longer existed. He disappeared somewhere along the way, and he's never to have been found again.
Theres a man who calls himself my STBX husband who picks up our children 2x a week, but its the man they knew either as their father.
So yes, life goes on. It takes time for your heart to heal and for the tears to stop falling, but it gets better. If your this unhapy walk away and find your happiness. Theres someone else out there, who you can trust, and love and who will love you back.
That isn't the 1 true love then. If you're with someone that you know you'll spend your life with, then that's your true love. True love doesn't end after a few years. And if it does, then he obviously wasn't the "one true love."
I don't entirely believe in "one true loves." I think life and love is all about meeting people, taking risks, learning and experiences. If a relationship fails, then hopefully we can learn something from it and be a bit stronger, smarter and wiser. And hopefully we meet someone new and fall in love again and maybe this time it'll work out and maybe 30 years later we can confidentaly say "this is my one true love."
That's what I had been exactly wondering a few months ago. One last thing made me realize that even though you may love someone so deeply, if they do not treat you as you deserve to be treated then they aren't your one true love or soulmate or what have you. As that saying goes “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.” and if you feel as though you cannot relate to this saying than more than likely you shouldn't be in this relationship or even imagine going back to it. Me personally when I read over that and I compare it to my first love experience, I can't relate to any of it anymore (maybe at first). How sad is that?
This is what keeps you specifically from not letting go, or wondering, or overthinking all of this......."Wondering what could be or what could of been?"
It's hard to NOT think of those two simple things, but yet, it IS what keeps you locked in the past...and doesn't allow you to move on.
Now, I know ppl think I'm crazy, for going to a psychic for many reasons, but let me tell you, she's for real, and she's damned good. And she told me my xh was a soulmate. And that I should go back to him.
I knew in my deepest region of my heart and soul, he was a soulmate, but you know what, I don't pursue him because it's not right. The timing isn't right. Our paths haven't crossed and in order for them to cross again, we literally would have to force it.
So, when you have to let go of the one, can you, will you, do you let go and move on and love again? yes. I have let go. i know i will always love my xh more than anyone. I know what we had was very unique and cannot be compared to anything. i know, i will probably not have it again. that being said, i HAVE moved on, i HAVE loved again. I have let him go. I have found someone, who is better for me, right now. i found someone who, maybe life isn't 100% easy, but then again, even with my soulmate, it wasn't easy.
I truly believe, in order for true love and soulmates to connect, you BOTH have to be at the right places, at the right time, and both be emotionally, and mentally healthy in order for it to be easy and good. I believe it's rare. I believe many of us have had r'ships with "the ones" (as i don't believe there is just one) and soulmates. but things are "off" for whatever reasons.
I emailed my xh and said, "maybe in this lifetime, it hasn't worked. But it has in previous and I'm sure it will in future. Until then...." he said he liked that. because it meant we have another chance......sometime when our paths cross more easily.
true love is rare. finding the one, or a soulmate isn't "easy". those that have found it, are lucky, because most people may never find it, or never be ready for it. So, I suggest. instead of dwelling on "Wondering what could be or what could of been?" become a healthy adult and maybe, you'll find "another one" and it will be easy.