Can this work?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-10-2006 - 1:35am |
I've been on probably about seven dates over a couple months with a guy I really like, and I think if it weren't for his ridiculously busy schedule (ie he travels about half of the week so the only time that's good for him is the weekend, which sometimes works out, but not always for both of us, sometimes admittedly by my own fault), the question of where we are would be a lot easier to answer. I've met his friends multiple times and we all seemed to get on great, my friends that have met him like him, he talks about me meeting more of his friends in the future and has talked about things we can do relatively far in the future for a while now. We've been relatively intimate (though he'd waited until the date before the most recent to kiss me, which was frustrating at th time, but remarkably reassuring that that's not all he's about), but not slept together, and he's slept at my place a couple times. However, it feels odd having any talks of exclusivity since the times that I see him are relatively few and far between (once every one or two weeks with two or three phone calls a week). People have started asking me if it's "official" now because it seems like it should be by the natural course of things (not that I judge my situation based on others' opinions, it was just interesting to hear the popular opinion).
AND to add another stick into the spokes, he told me recently that he'd be moving for his job, about an hour - two hours from where I live (so not ridiculously far, but still a nuisance) a few weeks from now, potentially for a year or two. He's already told me that I'd have to come visit him and that he'd be back (once again, travelling for work) almost every weekend. I can't figure out what I should do...I don't meet guys like this everyday, he has the je ne sais quoi quotient that I'd been missing so many times before...my thoughts now are to see how I feel when the time actually comes for him to move and judge from there but I'm not sure...thoughts?

I'm thinking if he's got qualities you like, and you've got qualities he likes, give it a go as long as you're both happy and the relationship is mutually fulfilling.
CML-
I like to think the quest to find Mr. Right is like a road trip. There are signs that caution us along the way. All too often we ignore these signs. Reading your post, it's pretty clear...the signs say Proceed With Caution.
The biggest sign for me was the fact that ya'll only spoke 2-3 times per week on the phone. Now he's moving away- which will make things even more difficult. In my quest to find Mr. Right, I have quickly realized that if a guy really likes you, and he's worth your time and effort (and heart), he'll call you every day. Yes. EVERY DAY!
If he's crazy about you- he will call on the way to the bathroom- on the way to lunch- on the way to the hotel. NO MAN IS BUSY 24 HOURS a day- they just use that excuse to keep women on the hook- just in case.
You aren't a "just in case" kind of girl. You deserve better!
I too was wrapped up in the analysis of talks about future plans and for awhile I thought that meant he cared. Not the case.
Point is- the guy I am dating now...when we first met he was seriously considering moving to a new city. After two weeks of dating (and daily phone calls) he abandoned his plans to move... Yes- there are guys out there that will do that.
So, my suggestion- Proceed With Caution. Ya'll probably aren't exclusive. Want to find out? Casually mention that you have a date- see his reaction.
Good Luck!
Savannah
www.ontheroadtomrright.com