can't figure him out

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
can't figure him out
3
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 11:47pm

I have like this guy for awhile but i never thought he would ever like me because we work together, however, at the start of the new year he started to talk to me more invited to his house for a party, buying my drinks when some of us would go out after work. Claiming that he is buying the first round. One time when my friend and I was out we saw him at a store that we like to shop at and he came up behind me and surprise me, and then invited me to watch some band. I am kicking myself for not going. One day I was giving him a ride home and I was playing Matchbox twenty and he couldn't believe the kind of music that I like and he call me cool. That is when he really started he invited me over to get a book that he bought that I had said that I had wanted but I have never got. he would always bring it up but always forgot it at home. But I freaked out and never would go over, blaming it on no time. Now that I have gave it some thought and really want to go out with him he doesn't talk to me much or like he was. A few weeks ago My friend and I went to see a band and he was there he sat in front of me and just talk to me when he first got there, but there was an ash tray in front of me on my table and he knows I don't smoke, he would turn around to dump his ashes and I swear he was looking at me. I got a cell phone and I text him when I figure it out and on one of the text he call me babe. that is something he had never done before, then the next time I work with him he call me babe again. then that night when I gave him a ride he said thanks sweetie, babe , and darling all in a row. I think that maybe I am reading in between the lines, but sometimes when I am around him I feel this tension between us now if he feels it I am not sure. the past few days he has seem like he has something on his mind when around me. even in the past when I have giving him a ride I try to keep the conversation going but it always end in a dead silence until we get to the where we are going. I was thinking of texting him this weekend and asking him if he likes me but I am not sure what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 11:30am

starfly21...

Pianoguy senses that you're "still on the fence" with the gentleman?

There are traits about him that you like....and others that make you more than a little nervous???

So it comes down to whether you want to "pursue him" or keep the casual, non-commital friendship thing going indefinitely? Just remember that the more you choose to learn ABOUT ANYBODY...our good and bad habits will eventually be exposed.

The question is: "DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE BOTH?"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 10:58pm
i was really confused when i first made my post i knew or thought i knew that this guy like me now i am not so sure the past few days has be hell for me the guy i thought like me doesn't. two weeks ago me and a few co-workers were hanging out and he was there with us and he stated that he didn't want a girlfriend. now he did sat next to me but turn away from me. now i really think that this guy really like me back a few months ago. he didn't even buy my drank like he use to i can't understand the change in him. I know i should have said something sooner but i never did say anything to him. i not sure he knows that i liked him, but i think that he must of figure it out or why else would he go cold toward me. now monday he wouldn't hardly talk to me, then on tuesday he did talk to me alot and he joke with me and even today when i saw him he said hi first and even stood and talk to me about my trip that i am taking this summer. he went from cold to luke warm i think i should run as fast as i can away from him, i wish i could understand him with the things he has done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 1:55pm

Dear Starfly,

Do not text him and ask him "if he likes you"! No, no, that will not get this thing on forward!

Go to the mars venus message boards, sweetie--there's a ton of practical advice! Here's my read: this guy liked/likes you. But, he hasn't quite stepped up the courage to ask you out. You can help him get there by letting a week go by since your last outing and texting him something light and funny, like "I saw this upsidedown pineapple cake and I thought of you, how are you?" Whatever! Your goal is to put yourself in his brain, but not in a way that pressures him--men run when under pressure.

Now, please realize, sweetie that in NOT pursuing him, there is the risk that he will not have the courage for you right now. That's OK! Who needs a guy who can't even ask you out???!!

So, date other guys, let this one simmer and come to a boil on his own! Best of all wishes,

beyondmeasure