can't happen right now.....
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can't happen right now.....
| Sat, 05-14-2005 - 6:28pm |
Hi everyone. I'm kinda new here, and I'm beginning to have a bit of a problem. My best friend is dating someone who I have known forever, and used to have a major crush on. We've become really close friends again, and I'm starting to develop real feelings for him. We all hang out all the time with our group of friends, so I'm with him a lot. We've talked quite a bit, and he's said we have an "amazing connection" but he feels like he's gotten into this thing with my friend, and he needs to let it work itself out. He's not sure if she's the one for him but has enough feelings for her to keep it going for now. He is exactly the person i could marry (i'm 27)...I guess I'm just looking for some thoughts. I would never ever do anything, especially when they're dating....but I'm really starting to struggle with my feelings...... thanks for listening....

Hi Lau,
that's a tough situation to be in, but to be honest I don't think that there is anything that you can actually do to change things.
He has to work his feelings out for himself. He might very well like you, but he might not want to lose what he has with your friend. You have to respect whatever decision he makes, and be able to either move on, or suffer the consequences of getting between the two of them.
I know that it is not your intention to hurt your best friend, but by telling him how you feel (without letting her know as well), you are doing just that. It might seem as though things would be perfect if he chose you...but consider how your best friend will feel when she finds out that you two are together. Make sure that he is worth ruining a friendship over, or at least speak to your best friend about this BEFORE anything happens...then hope that she will be understanding.
In the end, all you can do is wait it out and see what happens. And at a certain point, if he still hasn't come to a conclusion it will be time to move on. You can't wait around forever now can you?
Good Luck :O),
Yvy.
Thanks so much....
No worries, glad to be of some help :O).
Hang in there!
Yvy.
He's an old crush? Are you sure it isn't the crush thing again... and he is just playing ya - and your friend?
Say goodbye to Mr. Not so Wonderful. He has been (dating, bf/gf, whatever) with one of your friends.... he is off-limits for LIFE.