The catch
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| Mon, 05-16-2005 - 2:53pm |
Hi All...I'm new to the boards--24, female.
I recently met an amazing man, and we are dating. We couldn't be more compatible on pretty much every level so far. We've talked about practically everything, spending hours talking every day. We're both so excited to have met eachother. Here's the catch...last night, he told me that he has herpes. We have not established a physical relationship yet, and that is why he told me now, before we got to that point. We talked about it for a while, and we both have a pretty good understanding of the disease. He got it from an ex a couple years ago who cheated on him. What I need your help with is this--I told him that of course I'd prefer he didn't have herpes, I don't see it as a reason not to see eachother anymore. We talked about how if and when we want to have sex, we would ALWAYS use every protective measure possible, and I told him I would talk to my OB GYN about all of this. So my question is--is this healthy for me to pursue a relationship with him, or is my falling in love making me irrational. Can a relationship work with him or am I being stupid?

The choice is definitley your own, and getting as much info is perfect.
But, just wanted to throw this out to you. 1 out of 3 people have herpes. A cold sore, is a herpe. You can have genital herpes, that AREN'T in the genital area. You can have non-genital herpes, IN the genital area. And yes, you can transmit either one to another person in any area of the body. i.e. if a man has a cold sore, and performs oral sex on a woman, she can get herpes in her genital area.
I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just telling you, how common it is, and how easy it can be to live with it (as a person w/o or even with).
I have herpes. And strangely, it's on my thumb area. I have no idea what kind it is (genital or not), but I know it comes when I stress out. I don't refrain from sex, however, I use a liquid bandage on it and keep my hand clear of my bf's body. I have a friend who has genital herpes. I have another one who is a carrier, but has never had the symptoms (she found out cuz her bf got the symptoms and she got tested).
The point is, this disease, can both be nothing to be worried about, and yet, something that can harm, if not kill. The amount of outbreaks he has, and the intensity of them, as also WHERE he gets them are things to think about.
But always remember, in the end, the choice is yours, and if you can't deal with it, don't feel guilty, nor ashamed. We all have our own deal breakers.
~pineapple_girl
Well, I see no reason why a relationship can't work with him.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?