Commitment Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Commitment Issues
6
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 1:18pm

Hi,

My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months. He has taken time off from our relationship. He says he has commitment problems and needs to deal with some issues on his own. We had an amazing relationship and were very much in love with eachother, no issues at all. Do guys really think and resolve commitment issues? Should I wait or go?

Thanks,
QT

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 1:50pm
This is purely my 2 cent ok... I used the "Commitment Issues" excuse for a long while. Well, excuse shouldn't be the word because I really have an issue with commitment and still do. But, once I got with the one I could see myself being with then I did not use that as an escape out a of a relationship I really wasn't so into like before. I say now I got bored with the dating but it was really just not the one. So if I were you let him resolve his issues but do not wait around.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 2:59pm
I agree with marie.. Many people have true committment issues no doubt but more often then not when you find the "one" ur willing to go above and beyond to make it work. Not to say he doesn't care for you or that you didn't have a wonderful relationship but maybe that lil extra spark was missing that pushes you just beyond the ordinary limits. .. I would say give him a chance to explore what he's feeling he maye realize what's he's missing out on. If not be blessed you didn't get stuck with second best. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 6:47pm

I agree too. I've known people who have commitment issues which are suddenly resolved them when they meet "the one".

I'm also wondering if "commitment issues" could mean the same as "it's not you, it's me". Could it simply be his way of ending the relationship? (Albeit a very poor method).

Anyway, I wouldn't wait for him.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 6:54am

I've been posting anout a similar kind of thing.

The guy says he's not ready for committment with any one, but he calls every day, and says he doesn't want to blow it with me. He has said he's not ready to be perceived as a couple. he always is very interested and concerned with all the details of my day adn openly shares his. he says he's intimidated by the strong feelings toward me and wants to take it very slowly staying at the friends stage for while because his feeling frighten him.

Is this the same kind of "not ready for committment" that means " hes not ready to commit with me" ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 9:54am
For your situation he is still trying to figure things out. Still getting to know you so he can decide to move furthur or if someone else better is out there. I feel guys know when they are ready and feel someone is what they are looking for and they go in quickly. They want to have her as his girlfriend as soon as he can and does not use the excuse of lets be friends. That is all that is an excuse so he can keep you around to fill the void to he finds the one he looking for. JMHO

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 10:25am
Thanks for your reply, I never thought of it that way. My friends and I are all shocked by this break up - it literally happened within 2 weeks time. I mentioned something about marriage and I think he put all this pressure on himself to see if I was the one or not. I guess I'm not. I thought what we had was really good and he just got scared, needed time to see if it's really me, or not.