COMPLETELY CONFUSED- please help!
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COMPLETELY CONFUSED- please help!
| Wed, 12-21-2005 - 10:52am |
Hi. I am a young woman in my first relationship ever. I met this guy over the summer and didn't like him at first, i just didn't feel anything with him. But he pursued me, even though i blew him off all the time. I started to talk to him more and we finally started dating. I think i grew to like him(is there such a thing?) and I thought i would give it a try, why not right? Well we are really close and things went pretty fast...like we are together almost everyday and he is really "lovey-dovey", both things that I am not used to. He is completely in love with me and would do anything for me. He is like the perfect guy any girl could ask for. He treats me like gold! I love him as a person and really care about him, I just don't know if I am in love. I have all these emotions coming at me ever since we started dating. It's like the whole time we have been together, all I focus on is trying to fall in love, when i just need to let it happen. Would I know it by now? or since it took me awhile to realize i like him, could it take awhile to fall in love? sometimes i feel like i am in love and sometimes i don't, but I want to be FOR SURE, I don't want to have doubts. I also feel like I convince myself to like him and be with him cause there is nothing wrong with him. I am constantly questioning how i feel and spend more time doing that than actually thinking about him in a good way. BUT YET i feel all these while I feel like I do like him and maybe it's meant to be because of how everything has worked out....I really need some help, Am i just trying to rush those love feelings, should I just let them come? will they come, or would I have known by now ( see the weird thing is that if someone asked me if I was in love, I could say yes and I could say no) I just don't know! HELP!....please, and thankyou....

Well you did not mention how long you two have been dating but I can say if you’ve known each other less then years then more likely you are not. Which is not a bad thing? Many people take lust for love and lust is what you have upon meeting someone. It seems your content in the relationship just not sure if it how it supposes to be. I then ask you this, are you happy and enjoy spending time with him? What qualities do you want in the person you’re dating? Does he have them? If so then you may be on the right track of taking things slow and enjoying the moment and if it comes then that is fine.
Marie
Hi -
You are definitely NOT in love with him. When you are in love, you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Maybe you are more "in love" with the idea of being "in love." Therefore, you are trying to force it on yourself because you found someone that you "should love." Well, sweetie, there is honestly no way to force falling in love with someone. He could be an incredible person and everything you THOUGHT you wanted in a guy. However, if you just aren't feeling it, maybe he isn't everything. There are guys out there that will treat you just like he is treating you, but that you will feel that electric heat, passion, and desire for. Don't settle. This is your first relationship. There are SO many other men that will come your way. If you truly spend more time worrying about whether or not you like him, you don't like him enough for it to be enduring. Plus, if he cares about you as much as you say he does, you're going to end up hurting him if you keep playing with his emotions.
If you truly think that there is a special connection and spark there...then keep dating him and STOP worrying. The more you think about it, the less natural it becomes. Falling in love should be natural and without conscious thought. Good luck!