iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 5:12pm

I'm new to this board but not to ivillage.

Here is the situation:

I had a GREAT boyfriend when I was in college.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 1:23am
20 years is a longggggg time. I bet you are not the same person you are today as you were back in college. So what makes you think you ex-bf is? What makes you think that it is a possibility that he is a potential mate?

I wonder why you want to get involved with someone, ANYone if you are not divorced AND that he is still married?!

Not a good formula for a relationship in my opinion. Little upside. A LOT of downside.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 10:43am

I think we all have nostalgia for what was in the past--you are looking at all the fun things in your past relationship (and forgetting the fact that he dumped you for someone else).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 2:44pm

Ugh, I just went down this road myself, and we are NOT the same people we were in college. I left my ex in 2010, found a man I had been with off and on for years, then not seen in 16 years. We reconnected on line, and finally met a few months later. We had a great time and the relationship continued...BUT as I got to know him more, no, he is not the same guy, and no, I did not stick with it.

Your situation sounds complicated at best, I can;t imagine worse.

I am really lucky, have now found a wonderful man, and I am relaly glad I am not with the college romance. I honestly think I still considered him to be like he was before, but people change over the years (he probably says the same about me)

Good luck in everything!