Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Confused
7
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 8:51am
I met this really great guy and he described the way he feels about me
to the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 9:27am
Is this a third guy or one of the two you were talking about in the other post?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 9:48am
lol, no forgot to put in there it is not from me. I got that in an email from a lurker.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 12:31pm

So this person is just 'thrown' by the fact that the guy didn't put his arm around her?

~~ Steffy ~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 2:32pm

Well, when you say "really affectionate" what does that mean?

Has he ever kissed you? IF he has and you're ACTUALLY dating and not just hanging out occassionally, then I wouldn't worry too much about him not putting his arm around you.

BUT, if you've never been on a real date where he actually took you out adn he's never kissed you then I would say he likes the attention your giving him, but he's not really all that into you.

Honestly, based on what you've given us ot go by I would say he just likes the attention and isn't into you as anything more then a convenient ego boost. Sorry.

Words are cheap especially, whenthe guy has to use a movie as a refernce point for his feelings. A real man who really liked you would just come out and say he likes you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 5:51pm
Just out of curiosity, why did you go to his house? Just because he said you could drop by anytime? That is not really a "date". If you are visiting him at work and going to his house, it sounds like you are the one who is doing all the pursuing here. He may be reciprocating - a little bit. But not enough. If a man has a serious interest in a woman, he calls *her* and invites her on a *real date* - to a movie, to dinner, to a show, to lunch, or a picnic. That is how you can know if a man has some level of interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2005
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 10:34pm
He has told me that he likes me, he's expressed to me just how much he likes me, he made the reference to the movie because he said that he hasn't felt anything for anyone since him and his wife split, until he met me. We do kiss, a lot and everytime we see eachother, but it just seems like he was affectionate at first and now not so much, so I don't know if he's losing interest, or what.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: cl_bastphilliy
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 8:09am

It doesn't matter why he used the movie refernece it's lame, not romantic.

Besides,this still just doesn't sound like "REAL" dating to me. It sounds like you're a convenience. You're doing all the work. It's really pretty irrelevant whether you're doing all the work because he's the walking wounded or whether you're doing it because he's not all that into you.

Either way he doesn't sound like the kind of man who is ready for a REAL relationship. Unless you want to be the "mend my broken heart for me" girl.

This has codependency written all over it. He wants to fall in love with you so he can get over his ex. That's just not a good way to start a relationship.

Stop trying to analyze his behavior and look at what really matters, this is not a man who is a whole happy, self-sufficient person. He's looking to use you as a band-aid for his broken heart. Are you really so desperate that you'll settle for lame references to movies from a guy who is still licking his wounds?

Sorry, if this seems harsh, but it's just my honest opinion. You're only a month or so into this, bail now before you get more attached.