Confused and frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2005
Confused and frustrated
2
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 4:59pm

Hello everyone, this is my first post to this board. I've been lurking on several of the boards on ivillage- and I'm wondering why I didn't find this place sooner! It looks to be pretty cool from what I'm seeing. :)

To the heart of the matter- I feel the need to rant/ask for advice. Most poeple who post here are probably in my same situation, lol.

Okay, I met this guy a few years ago while I was a junior in high school through my church. We only crossed paths once in a while, but during my Senior year (last year, I'm a college freshman now) I had the chance to see him a lot more often, we attended the same community college, and we hung out after class whenever we had the chance. I have always had a bit of a large crush on him but I never made that known.

In April he asked me to go to this show with him and some of his Marine buddies (he was in the delayed entry program for USMC at the time) and we both had a good time. :) We started doing things together a lot more often--outside of school. Some times exclusively, others not. (And he always paid, opened doors for me, pulled out my stikin' chair wherever I went, let me wear his jacket when I was cold, etc. He's very chivarlous.)

Well, in July he ended up shipping off to bootcamp right after the Fourth(I spent that weekend with him and his family for the most part-they were the ones making comments about out "just friends" state--and they didn't think I'd hear. psht.) I made him promise to write me, haha, and so we wrote very often throughout that three months. From him it was always a "I can't wait to see you" or "Miss you a lot", but nothing more.

Anyway, he came back a couple of weeks ago on leave and then I get this phone call from him *before* he had boarded the return flight(!) asking what I was doing the next morning. I ended up going to church with him, having lunch with him and his family. A couple of days later I get another call asking if I wanted to go with him and his family on a trip for the whole weekend-- and I did. It was a lot of fun, to say the least! He even bought me a USMC sweater, lol. When he left he gave me a hug and mentioned coming back for Christmas.

I'm just confused. He hasn't said anything of the whole "just friends" stage- and I won't be the one to do it- yet my family and friends are saying "you're getting kind of chummy for 'just friends'." Gah. I guess this is more of a rant then a question-- but should I just sit here in the hopes that someday he'll mention something or in the meantime just forget about it?

Thanks for reading :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 10:18pm
Not saying this is what you should do but if it were me it is what I would do. But, I've dated lots good and bad. I would go on with my life and what comes of it will come. I would enjoy college and dating and experiencing things and if and when he offers then I would consider my options. I am not much for waiting around anymore. But, I am not 20 either and waiting on that perfect time. But, it does seem he knows he has a long military road ahead of him and so he does not want to tie you down with it. There seems from your post a good chance he is into you but is considerate enough to keep it as friends so you can go experince life as he is. So I would suggest if you were a friend or family member enjoy life as a college student. Date, get out, and experience life and if it is really Meant to Be. Then it will be in it's right time.



































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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 9:01am

I totally agree with 100% of what you said.

He seems like agood guy who likes you but doesn't want to hold you back while he does the military thing and you do the college thing. Which is a GOOD thing!!!! Even if it is a little confusing and tough at times because you'd like a boyfriend.

And a plug for our military men... The two best guys I dated long term (okay well I'm married to one of them now) where both military guys. Very chivalrous and respectful and at the same time real men, macho and sexy, without being chauvinistic at all. The one I married even cooks and cleans, God love him.