Confused - Whos the better guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Confused - Whos the better guy
4
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 9:00pm

Ill try to keep this short. Been dating a guy for about a 8 months now. He always told me I should date other people. After time he stopped doing that, and has made comments that make it seem like he wants and exclusive relationship but doesnt come right out and say it. Hes a great guy and I think Im in love with him. Heres the problem.

1. I feel as if our relationship it stuck and not progressing. Im not at all sure where
its going.

2. Another guy I dated before has been calling and wants to see me. We stopped seeing
each other due to his career which had him constantly traveling at the time. Now he
has a new job and wants to give us a second chance.

3. Guy number one doesnt spend much time with me and I feel like Im always waiting
on him, and it gets lonely.

So heres the thing, theres a part of me that wonders if Im making a mistake holding out for guy number one to move this relationship along. Ive never met his kids, family or freinds all this time. To me if a guy keeps you out of his life like that, then hes either not ready, or he has not intentions of taking things further. What if the other guy was willing to give you what the one isnt? Do you go out with both and see what happens??? How do I decide. Important to mention, guy #2 is really awesome too, he
treats me like a queen, sends me flowers, has taken me nice places, and wants a committed relationship in his life.

I dont want to lie to either, but I feel like I need to make a choice here.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:49am

ladydeb2006...

Pianoguy thinks you're make a MAJOR MISTAKE when it comes to making a choice between these 2 gentlemen right now.

Neither one of these gentlemen wants "to get serious" with you....at least when it comes to planning anything LONG TERM! Sooooo...

Continue to date 'em both (or others) if you want to?

But PLEASE don't start making plans to settle down. Neither one of your b/f's can (or wants) to provide you with that option right now!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 11:11am

Unless you've had a conversation with guy #1 where you have both confirmed that you are exclusive, you are free to date others -- even if he has stopped reminding you of that fact. And even if he wants to be exclusive with you, until he tells you that and asks you if you want to be exclusive with him, you are free to date others.

So, I would definitely go see guy #2. Perhaps the flames will rekindle or perhaps not. But it sounds like it is definitely worth a coffee to find out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 5:15pm

Thanks for the advice. We had that talk last night. It didnt go to well. I posted a thread about it. Be sure to read it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 7:38pm
I posted to your other post. I say for now just work on yourself since you really need to break the habit of allowing men to treat you that way and string you along. Guy #1 was obviously stringing you along I'm not sure about guy #2 but if he is certain that he's willing to be in a relationship now and that he's not going to let work and traveling get in the way of that then I say why not give it a shot to see. Which even if he does travel it doesn't mean that he can't contact you and still have a relationship with you. I don't buy that work and travelling has to get in the way of a relationship if a guy was really ready for one and really liked you he would make the time and effort regardless.