Confused/Bewildered
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| Fri, 08-26-2005 - 11:12am |
hi,
i posted here last week re: whether or not i had leverage to be mad at the guy i'm dating for going on another date with an "old" friend. after posting here and taking the advice of you all into consideration i told him that my feeligns were hurt by his actions; in turn, he said that it was a harmless dinner and he was providing support for his friend who is in the process of getting a divorce. we couldn't finish the conversation b/c i had to attend a mtg so i told him that i would call him back.
later that evening, i tried calling him, he was on the other line so instead of me leaving a msg and waiting for him to call me back jealousy and anger took over - i called him a total of 4 times (I KNOW EXCESSIVE). to prevent the 5th call, i called a gf of mine to vent and before i could tell her the whole story, it was him on the other line. i clicked over and told him that i didn't like to play games and guess work, i can't read btwn the lines and i wanted to be w/someone who could be up straight forward w/me. he responded by saying that i needed to take a deep breath, he was on the other line w/his boss and he understands that i'm under alot of stress (i'm in the process of moving and my new place was supposed to be ready by 9/2 and now won't be ready until 9/15 - so i have to move back home to my parents house until then and come up w/an alt for my furniture)so he eased my fears a bit, which made me feel alot better.
yesterday, he only called me once at work, which is odd b/c he usually calls me at least 3-4 times a day. when he did call he told me that he had a horrific day and that he was so tired all he could think of was going home to go to sleep. now i never doubted that his day was hectic-he has a very demanding and stressful job (from what i can tell) but when i told my gf that he was tired and he was going to sleep, she responded and you believe that? i told her yes, why would someone lie about being tired and sleepy. she said that since we've had bumps in the road that he should've been trying to come n see me. so, confused i asked another gf and she told me that he really could've been tired and don't listen to her b/c she's trying to keep you manless. so, when i talked to him later that evening, he told me that he had taken a nap and went to the hospital w/another friend whose father was dying and he was there for his understanding of the medical field etc. now he's no dr. - he sells medical equipment, so now i'm thinking is he lending his support to every damsel in distress or is he really there out of friendship? what do you guys think?
am i over-reacting/analyzing this situation? or is he just showing me that the way he's treated/been supportive of me is how he treats everyone and i'm no exception? or am i starting to come across needy and clingy?

I think you've been too insecure. Is he your boyfriend? If not, the dinner thing is his business and if you didn't like it then you could have walked away. You know you shouldn't have called him and gotten into a panic...calling 5x.
You said he only called you ONE time at work!!! and he usually calls 4 or 5 times. If he feels like he's got to call you 4 or 5 times during the day to keep you happy, that's a lot of work for a guy. He'll burn out fast.
My SO never calls me at work and I wouldn't want him to either. We're both very busy at work, doing work.
You need to get busy yourself, doing something besides thinking about this guy and second-guessing everything. If you don't like something about him, then move on. If not, then just relax or you will scare the heck out of him.