Confusing Situation...

Avatar for kate8705
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Confusing Situation...
2
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 1:53pm

I have been with my fiancee Ryan for nearly two years. We have been engaged for one year. I love him but we have run into some problems lately. first off his family does not like me, they think I like one of our guy friends and I am not the right person for Ryan.

Second lately it just seems like Ryan has become bored with me. All he ever wants to do is hang out with a some friends of ours that are a couple. The four of us are together constantly. I have always just seen this excessive need to be around other people as a sign of boredom with the realtionship.

It's not even just that. He pays more attention to my friend Amber when we are with her and her fiancee Chad more than he does me. He will talk to her non-stop but when we are alone all he does is flip the TV on. I asked him about this and all he could say was he already knows everything about me so he does not need to talk to me all the time. It just feels like all the magic is gone.

Any ideas or comments???

~* Katie *~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2006
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 7:30pm

Well, it does sound as if some of the "sizzle" has been lost, within your relationship. However, that does not mean you can't get it back. If this guy is your fiance, be thankful these things are happening BEFORE the wedding.

All is not lost. But maybe the two of you need a break. Maybe it's time to take a little breather from each other. Maybe your fiance needs a little space to stretch his wings, before he settles down for good. Marriage is a huge step. And when a couple is in love, and contemplating taking the next step - often times nerves, emotions, doubts, fears etc... can cause a partner to contemplate what the next step is going to be. So, maybe you should be the better person, and allow him room to gather his thoughts, clear his head and to make his final decision. Not saying that your feelings on the final decision don't count. But it appears that "he" is the only one having uncertain feelings about it all.

I hope not to discourage you. I want you to remain positive, however - it's important for you to be realistic about all of this. It's better to do it now, than to suffer these type problems AFTER you've walked down the aisle.

JMO,
Cherry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 5:35am

Katie...

PG's 2 cents:

If Ryan has become bored with you NOW....what makes you think he's going to change? No doubt his family and their comments have convinced Ryan that "you're not the right girl for him?"

If Amber is getting the lion's share of Ryan's attention...YOU are attempting to hold on to a fantasy-relationship? And as most of us know...those rarely last?

Unless your actual name is Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, or Sleeping Beauty?

Those are the "fantasy ladies" who lived happily ever after!

Pianoguy