Counselling for Insecurities?
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Counselling for Insecurities?
| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 10:50am |
Has anyone here been to counselling to help work on stuff like insecurity?
Can you tell me what to expect - at least on the counsellors-side - like what type of questions I might need to think about? was it a very emotional experience? Did the things you discovered in it make it difficult to function in your day-to-day activities - like work, friendships, relationships?
Did you feel very vulnerable during therapy?
Any feed back would be very much appreciated.
Thank you!

Although I've worked on some issues in therapy, for the most part, I took care of a lot of insecurities on my own. For MYSELF, the easiest way for me to change something, is to understand it. And learning to figure out WHY I do things, helps me to STOP doing them.
Learning to let go of your insecurities is like.................crossing your arms over your chest, but the opposite way. Or, like interlinking your fingers in the other way. Or, chewing on the other side of your mouth. Or well, like it's living life by using your other hand (like if your right-handed, doing everything left-handed).
It won't kill you, but it can be frustrating as hell. And you have to relearn EVERYTHING. But the rewards are so worth it. Basically, it's a life of peace, of not thinking (for the most part), of just relaxing.
I won't kid you though, this is NOT something that will be fixed, or changed within a few months. I have been working on my insecurities for the past 3 years. It's a lot better now, but believe me, I still have a long ways to go.
As for affecting the rest of your life, I don't think it will, cuz for the most part, you're fighting the insecurities within your r'ship, so I would talk to your man, when you feel comfy about all this. I know, my dbf KNOWING about it, helped a lot. Cuz then he HELPED me with thigns.
Lastly, therapists all work differently, however, with mine, he basically wants examples of how I interact. So, in your case, you could use the insecurities from your bf backing off, things like that. And of course, your past will come up, to see how it affected you.
BTW, my insecurities come from my childhood, that was exacerbated by my adolecents and then my crazy teenage years. So, I can see how it just snowballed over the past 30 years.
And my last piece of advice, fake it until you make it.
Good luck and don't stress over therapy. Its' there to help. And if you don't like your therapist, find a new one.
~pineapple_girl
i don't know that I can talk to my guy about this stuff right now - remember he's going thru his own thing...
I know what you mean about seeking to understand why you think a certain way, so that you can think the opposite way. I have a pretty good idea why - but i just can't stop myself from spiraling into craziness.
I know it's not the end of the world or our relationship if he doesnt' call for a few days - I should know this because his behaviour of 4 months where he called often should logically override the small blip where he doesn't call because he's got his OWN stuff to deal with. And yet I can't stop. No matter what i tell myself...
Wish me luck. I'm still feeling anxious.
And that is what therapy is for. Also, like I said, nothing will change overnight. It'll take awhile for you to be able to talk yourself down, and well, you'll still feel anxious.
I agree with not telling bf right now, like I said, when you feel more comfy and when the r'ship is maybe more serious.
My bf just helped me by saying things to get me to stop spiraling. Like if I started to get snippy or soemthing about him with his friends, or female friends, he'd just say "stop". and I would get mad, then calm down (like in two seconds) and realize what I'm doing. things like that, helped. when you're ready though. :)
~pineapple_girl