Crazy in love, but he's with crazy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Crazy in love, but he's with crazy...
6
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 8:45pm

He's my partner at work. He's 38. I'm 27. It started out at friends, but we clicked instantly. And then, somewhere along the way I fell hopelessly in love. He has admitted attraction, that clearly runs deeper than sexual. Problem?

His live in girlfriend of 5 years, who's completely awful. She treats him badly, they fight all the time, she lies constantly. They go back and forth. Finally, he had had enough, called it quits. Her response was to suck up. He gave her 30 days to get out. She is still there, almost two months later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sat, 12-03-2011 - 11:35pm

Oh, my. I've been in your situation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 9:59am

I am learning that any man (or woman) looking around before their old relationship is over, is not really serious about next relationship - people on these boards tend to e pretty smart!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2011
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:59am

It's never easy to walk away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 9:08am

Which one sounds like the healthier choice? If you choose the latter, it will hurt at first, but as time goes on you will feel better because you won't be caught up in his relationship turmoil.

I'm with Red on this one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Fri, 11-25-2011 - 12:39pm
There really isn't anything you can do regarding his relationship with her...that is completely up to him to end. The only thing you can do is tell him to contact you once he is sorted out and free. Anything less would be an emotional roller coaster for you. The thing is, you have a choice here, you can stay immersed in the turmoil while he is sitting on the fence or you can take your power back by walking away and living your life. Which one sounds like the healthier choice? If you choose the latter, it will hurt at first, but as time goes on you will feel better because you won't be caught up in his relationship turmoil.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 11-25-2011 - 9:23am

The complicating factor here is you still see him at work and have a lot of contact with him there. You need to get a transfer within your organization, if such is possible, or look for a new job, despite the lingering bad economy.

You are right to write him off. Some people of both genders are just caught up in disfunctional relationship patterns. They