After 3 years of friendship/dating, we married in April, 2008.
It isn't making much sense. If you were never legally married, then why do you have to get divorced to get legally married again? There is no again, there is no legally married to undo.
I think you two would bennefit from pre-marital counceling. Something you should have done the first time around, but it's never too late. That will really help you two work through your issues and get on the same page.
It's not unheard of to date your ex DH or DW. Loads of marriages have come back together after divorce when both are motivated to change to make it work. With children involved,
Welcome to the board! IMO, if you both are willing to work together and see the error or your ways regarding your relationship, then why not? Maybe you guys living together at the moment may be a better idea right now. Do you want to get married again?
It's happened a lot. I know people who got divorced and back together. If this isn't the right time for you to be married and live together, then that's a good reason to get divorced - I guess I'm not sure how exactly this situation came to be, but I totally agree with counseling for couples in this situation and it would be best to put marriage off of your plate for a long time... Say five years. You want to make sure it's the right decision if you make it again.
If you love him and you can work on what broke you apart, then you don't need anyone else's permission to stay with him and work your relationship out.