Dating older men...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2006
Dating older men...
11
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 10:43am

Hey all! I've met a great guy through mutual friends about 2-3 months ago. We're all friends, hang out on the weekends and things have been pretty casual until recently. I'm turning 25 in a few months and according to his friend (I feel rude at this point asking how old he is) the guy, Jack, is 36.
Jack and I have been getting a bit closer lately and he's expressed obvious interest in me. My problem is that he is 11 years older than me. I've always had an aversion to men that are anywhere from 5+ years older than me - I don't really have an explanation for it. Jack is a great guy, I honestly enjoy being around him, but I start to think about his age and whether or not I am physically attracted to him (I have slept over his house a couple times..now I feel like I've led him on) and I start to freak out. This happened before when I was 22 dating a 32 year-old. I tried to forget about his age, but in the end I stopped talking to him because I just couldn't get over it.

Does anyone else have this issue? I'm wondering if there's some way I can slowly get over this. I'm also questioning myself because I have a hard time getting close to someone. I've had relationships here and there, but never anything serious or lasting more than a month. I'm feeling so much anxiety over this situation and wonder if I'm using the age thing as an excuse. I don't want to cut him out of my life, but I'm not sure if a romantic relationship is what I want with him - I don't want him to hate me.

Anyone have some words of wisdom? I'm just feeling really confused right now and appreciate anything anyone has to say. Thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 7:14pm
Unless you're the person posting, we're never going to get the full story so I just call it as I see it based on what you have written. If you don't want people's perspectives, then don't bother to post. I don't come here to validate people and re-affirm their opinion of themselves.

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