Dating or less or more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Dating or less or more?
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 3:08am

Edited 7/13/2009 11:25 am ET by lost.cause
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2009
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 9:00am
He has told you a all through that he doesnt want an exclusive relationship. You continuing to go out with him and sleep with him, which is silently saying that you are OK with this arrangement.
Women say they want men to tell them what they think and at least yours has voiced in no uncertain terms his opinion. Take his words to mean exactly what he says. He just isnt that into you to be exclusive so dont degrade yourself to be a booty call.He has said in no uncertain terms that he doesnt want to settle down so your only option is to keep doing what youre doing and stay in limbo hoping he will change, or walk away and find a man that DOES want to be exclusive with you. Move on IMO.
Good luck for your situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 11:11am

A man who downright doesn't WANT to "get attached" to you is probably a worse prospect for dating than a man who is currently on fire.

You know what you got into. You know his side of things, you know what he wants and doesn't want and you KNOW he doesn't fit what you want. As far as he's concerned, you're a girl who will settle for less than she wants/deserves and that's exactly what a man wants when all he cares about is sex. You're a toy to him whether or not you want to believe it.

This should really be a no-brainer. You already know the only RIGHT answer for you, don't you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 2:25pm
Thank you all for your responses. Yes, I guess I do kno what I need to do, I just dont want to do it because I dont want to lose him in my life. But if hes a good person like I think he is, we should be able to still be friends, strictly friends.
So should I bring up this issue and tell him either a relationship or just friends?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 2:29pm

Hey lost,

Welcome to the board. You have already gotten some good advice. IMO he doesn't want a relationship with you. He will continue to sleep without and enjoy your company without the committment for as long as you allow it. Sometimes we don't listen to what is being said, but in this case he is being very clear to you. If you want a relationship or committment he is not your guy.

I know it must be hard considering that you care for him and he has been in your life for the past year, but think about it, he will not give you what you want, and by him telling you and you going along with it, you have told him by your actions that you are okay with it.

His stance is not going to change. The only person that can make that change is you. Are you willing to let go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 2:35pm
Yes, that is very true, me not listening to what is being said. I guess I am blindly optimistic, as one of my friends put it. I keep hoping that he will change and that things will get better.
I think I am willing to let go, altho it will be very hard for me.