dealing with bf's horrible female frens
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| Sat, 10-29-2005 - 3:22am |
hi,
ever heard of 'it's perfectly ok for a guy to have female frens' ? i totally agree. as a girl, i have good platonic frenships with guys too. BUT i dunno wat to do when his females frens hate me.
maybe at this point of time, u may tink dat i am a horrible person/ bitch as there must be a gd reason why they hate me. the 1st time i met them, i smiled & said hi & they did even half look at me & jus shrugged an insincere hi. i told my guy about it & he said they prob did not take well to me as his ex is their fren. i did nothing to offend them but they hate me on sight juz coz i'm now the new girl. i am not the 3rd party, i met my bf only after his previous relationship ended.
then there was one more time when he asked me out for a movie & i replied late as i was working. then when i called back, he was having lunch with the females. i said ok, we can meet for a show & guess wat, the females were pissed off as they planned to watch the movie with my guy, thinking i did not reply & was thus not interested. they felt i was a bitch to take my bf away.
i am not a crazy girl. but i really feel insecure with all these nonsense. dosen't help that he spends more time with them than with me as he works 5 days a week, about 10 hours at his office & those females are always around him. i won't feel so stressed if i know them & that they are not negative about me. but as they are, i dunno what rubbish they be influencing him. & i fear too as my relationship with my guy is not strong or stable.
it's so unfair & nerve-wrecking, knowing my guy is surrounded by females who hate me for no good reason. before i came along, they had him all to themselves (when he was single) & now they resent him spending time with me & even hates me. is this normal??? i don't think so!! most of them have bfs of their own but still want to sink my claws into my bf. one of them is having probs with her bf & i'm afraid she has ideas on my bf. i admit i also don't really trust my guy coz he seems to enjoy the attention.
should i just call it off? i love him but this love is getting to be really painful. maybe the pain of losing him now is better than he tells me he has fallen for one of them. i tried telling him about how i feel but he jus feels i'm insecure & silly.
would like to know how u guys & girls feel about this.. pls help.
feeling miserable :..(

how long have you been together?
If he cares about your feelings and your frustration is justified, perhapd he can talk to the girls.
Another thing you might do is reach out to these girls a bit, show them you are okay, that you accept them as his friends. It is good you understand that he needs friends. You might be right that jealousy of his ex is rubbing off on them..
How old are they? I've seen this kind of nonsense more in younger women than older, but oldre women are capable of it, too. I have had some of my peers (30 year old women) be terribly gossipy and jealous.
Good luck. Keep a level head and an even temper as you seem to be doing in a hard spot. Do talk calmly and acceptingly to your BF, see if he has ideas, he knows these people better than yoU!
Good luck,
US
why can't my bf care about my feelings instead of just assuming i'm an insecure idiot. we're all in our mid twenties...
he is not the kind to tell his frens such things. coz i really think he cares more about the frenship he has with them than our relationship.
& u noe wat?
he promised to go on a hol with jus me but yesterday he asked me if i wanted to go hol with the female frens. i noe he may be jus asking but it hurts me coz i noe he rather go hols with them than w jus me... he could have told them 'no, i'm going with my gf, jus the 2 of us this time.' but hell no, he tried his luck with me, asking & probably wishing i would give in & say ok.
it is possible to love a jerk, i have loved a few of them.
wat is wrong w me?
jus wan to sleep 4ever & not think anymore abt such rubbish