Did I find love in New Orleans ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Did I find love in New Orleans ?
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 12:15am

I met a wonderful woman in New Orleans a few weeks ago. She had to go back to Providence and I am stuck here in Texas missing her terribly. We both feel pretty strongly about each other so far but I'm confused and don't know whether I should really pursue her. She's got a lot going on in her life but wants to keep talking to me and we hope to see each other again, hopefully soon. I'm tempted to get on a plane and surprise her but I don't want to alter her already tough schedule with me just showing up. I just can't stop thinking about her. I wrote her an email and wanted to share it with you fine folks. Tell me what you think.

It's only been a short time since I last saw you. I met you in New Orleans last weekend when you approached me at Utopia. I was having such a bad night 5 minutes before I met you, but the feeling vacated when we began to speak. We ended up leaving in a search for hand grenades. The balcony at Tropicle Isle will never be the same since you. I mean wow :) Your kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced. You made me forget about everything on my mind. Somehow, you were different and I felt it inside of me. You felt the same way. You said you loved my Texas accent. We held hands as we navigated bourbon street together. I never felt so wanted. Happy. You left me at the entrance to my hotel after a night to not be forgotten. We said our goodbyes after knowing each other for a night. It just felt right meeting you and I knew I had to see you again. I thought you had felt the same way. We exchanged numbers and left it at that. I wasn't satisfied. I've never felt any kind of emotion or feelings towards someone I had just met. What was wrong with me ?

I had waited all morning and afternoon for your call to come through. Would I really see you again the next day? would we have lunch as I anticipated?. No call. No harm done. Was I wrong about you? about us seeing each other again? I wasn't too worried.

I went back home to Austin and couldn't get you out of my mind. We exchanged numerous text messages along my way home. I HAD to see you again, no matter what.

I found out that you were staying with a family member in Shreveport, LA. It was only a 7 hour drive. I didn't think twice about leaving everything behind and making a trip to see you. Work can wait, life can wait, I was going to see about a girl. I had a well thought out plan to surprise you early and It worked. Your eyes lit up when I walked into the room unexpectedly. My heart skipped a beat when I saw your face. You were happy and had the most beautiful smile about you. When was the last time you had felt this way I had wondered. Where you really happy to see me? Was this really the girl I had met the previous weekend and felt some kind of connection with? Was I really here? I didn't remember most of the drive to see you, I just knew I had to get there.

We had plans to go out while I was there but I embraced the idea to stay in and spend time with you, the girl from Rhode Island. I wanted to know everything about you, and was running out of time. I had never felt such a connection to anyone as I had with you. It scared me. We were meant to meet for some reason we both thought. I felt that you trusted me, and it made me comfortable. We watched the movie "Buying the Cow" and you laughed throughout it. How sexy was that. To see your smile and to hear you laugh made me feel even better. What was I doing here? did I really meet this girl, the girl from Rhode Island. Was I really in Shreveport sitting with you on the couch and watching this movie? It must have been a dream. It had to be a dream. I didn't want it to end. I felt myself becoming more and more interested in everything there was to know about you, but I knew I had to be careful with your delicate emotions. I didn't mean to read too far into it, it just happened. I've been happy many times before, but this time it was different. It felt 'right'.

You were in a long term relationship and it had ended badly. Why would someone treat such an amazing woman the way he did. You should never treat a woman with disrespect I thought. Did he not tell you how important you were to him? Did he not compliment you every day that he saw you? Did the room not become bright for him whenever you announced yourself? Shouldn't you be on a pedestal somewhere? You're beautiful and I told you several times as if I had to convince you of the idea. You shrugged off the idea that anyone could find you amazing but you are, in every aspect. From your looks, your charm, your innocent yet caring smile when you looked at me. I saw it in your eyes, was I wrong? Whenever you walked into a room, I couldn't help but smile and feel such an energy with your presence. You moved me like I never thought was possible. With a simple smile from you, my day was better and I was content. How could I ever feel this way about someone I had met a few days before? I didn't know, and I didn't care. The moment.

On Thursday we went to the river walk to have lunch. I charmed the lemonade girl and you thought it was cute. We went to BW3's to eat. You ordered the grilled chicken tenders but you got breaded tenders instead. You didn't complain but your stomach didn't feel too good so we got the remainder to go. I never took my attention off of you the whole time. There was a room full of people around us but you captivated me with every word you spoke, every look. You had my full attention. Was I really having lunch with the woman I thought I would never see again after New Orleans?

Again, later that night, we joined together on the couch for another movie instead of going out. I felt your vibe but the thought of never seeing you again plagued my mind. I became distant, not wanting to share my emotions with you. You asked and I shot you down. I'm a sensitive person on the inside but i'm also a tough, molded, warrior on the exterior. I know when to protect my feelings but it was hard to do so with you. I was ashamed to not let you into my mind but I had a feeling that I shouldn't have. You spoke of the time that we had shared momentarily and to accept it as just that, time spent together and nothing more after Friday. You told me to be happy that we had met and that we got to spend our time together. I was never satisfied with that but I agreed and kept quiet. We connected and I fell asleep with a peaceful feeling that I was actually happy for the first time, in a long time.

Morning broke earlier than I had hoped and your ride to the airport arrived. Why didn't you ask me to take you to the airport for one last farewell kiss and goodbye?. I would have jumped at the idea. I wanted to see you walk away, with the hope that I would greet you again in the future. Will I ever see you again?. You hinted that I might not, but "our paths might cross again" you suggested. It hurt but I couldn't ask for any more than that I guess. Worried. I wanted our paths to cross again for a few more days but you were gone and it was time to go home with me head hung low. I never expected to feel this way about someone again, but the heart doesn't lie. I crossed the Texas/Louisiana border in tears. It was as if we had just met a few hours before. You were over it like that it seemed. I was just beginning.

Speed. That's all I could do, as fast as possible, away from the torment of seeing you leave. Why was I feeling this way? I was not used to this kind of behavior or thinking. It's just not me. What did you do to me? I had only known you for a few days, but I felt as if a part of me was boarding a plane and would be gone forever. You were. Would I see you again? would I taste the lips I had become accustomed to in such a short period of time? a face I loved to see as I awoke or randomly throughout the day.

The drive home was brief as I had the urge to get back to Austin, somewhere comfortable where I could take my mind off of you and think. This couldn't be real. Did I have this kind of emotion for someone whom I had just met? It WAS real, but hard to believe even for myself. As I passed through all of the small towns on my journey home, I couldn't help but wonder if anyone else had ever felt this way about someone like I did for you. Has anyone else ever met a girl quite like you? I had doubted it. I felt childish, it was like a junior high crush that wouldn't let go, but I'm older and should know better.

You're a school teacher, and I envy your students that get to see you smile every single day. Do you light up every room you enter? I bet you do. To hear you speak everyday has to be a treat that is undiscovered by most.

You had suggested that I read "The Alchemist" and I did when I got home. I read it all day, excited to see how it ended and what it was all about. I was pleased with the book but couldn't help but wonder if you were my Fatima, and I was Santiago. Would I see you again after we had parted? I could only hope. I would go out of my way to see you again. You asked me what I saw in you and asked how I could be attracted to such a person as yourself. I never quite understood your question, as I saw you no differently as any other attractive, intelligent, thoughtful, and charismatic woman out there.

I've never done anything like this before and it scares me but it was something I felt I had to do. I had doubted that you would ever see this, and kind of hoped that you wouldn't. I just wanted to put my feelings out there for you and everyone else to see. If I could, I would share my thoughts about you to the world over and over again but they might not ever be heard. Read, but never heard or understood.

It's funny. I had never really been a fan of 'fate' but after meeting you, I had a whole new outlook on things. We might have been meant to meet, but no chance meeting can ever bring two people together. I had simply relied on my new found hope that we might meet again. After talking to you on Monday night, I realize that this will never happen. I completely understand your situation and point. I really do. You say we're on two different paths in life, but honestly, paths were meant to be altered and 'different'. If they weren't, life would be pointless and boring. It's the bumps and hiccups in our travels that remind you that we're all human, we make mistakes, and have hopes and dreams. In a perfect world, we'd all be happy and would have never met but I guess all of that really has no meaning any longer. I'm not trying to convince you to do anything that would benefit me whatsoever, but you've got to do yourself a favor and move on from your current situation. So you spent a large majority of your 'party days (you really didn't miss anything anyway. Just a bunch of fake people trying to impress you to get into your pants. You should feel fortunate that you missed it) with a guy that didn't know how to treat you. It hurts to think that all of that time was spent for no reason, it wasn't. It made you who you are now, a great person. Everyone has loved and lost and you know the old saying. Pick yourself up and move on, as tough as it may seem at times. He was an idiot and never deserved someone like you to begin with. Time heals all wounds and yours are not excluded.

It kind of sucks to think of what could have been, but I won't give up. I had a great time and will never forget about you. It was all so serendipitous and I'll probably carry this memory for a very very long time to come.


I have to see you again.


- Dan -