Did I read too much into everything?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2005
Did I read too much into everything?
2
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 11:00pm
I met this guy two years ago while doing my college internship. When we first met we didn't like eachother, but as we got to know eachother we started hanging out more and doing things outside of work. After we graduated we were asked to stay on until the new interns arrived. We both stayed and started hanging out even more. We got along great we could talk about anything and everything and in fact spent several nights doing just that. Soon after he started making little moves. Like if we were watching a movie he would start in the chair across the room end up on the couch where I was sitting or put his head on my lap when we talked nothing really major. Our last week there things progressed slightly. When we would watch a movie we would cuddle on the couch. We worked different hours. I worked early morning (he worked mid- morning) and when I was finished for the day I could leave. Often he would leave me messages on my phone calling "just because." When the new interns arrived we both moved back to our respective cities (about 2 hours apart). He called me almost everyday and if one of us didn't call we would email or IM. Soon after we both left he started working 3 jobs and returned to school for an advanced degree and I was working 2 jobs. We we able to see eachother a few times, but then 2 of my family members developed serious health problems as did 2 of his along with 2 more of his family members dying. Even through the stressful time we emailed atleast once a week and talked about once a week sometimes more sometimes less. This past fall things seemed to have calmed down a bit. He was still in school, but working only 1 job and I was working only 1 job as well. In fact our jobs had actually taken us a bit closer to eachother. We tried several times to see eachother, but something always came up. He would often tell me he wants to be married and have atleast 1 kid in the next 5 years and that he wants 3 kids. He would often tell me that "If you have 2 boys we are adopting a girl" or that "I can't wait until you are in bed with me everynight" he emailed me before he left for a business trip "just because" and different comments like that. We were never able to meet up and in February this year I got really sick so we did not talk for a while, but we continued emailing every week. We talked again the beginning of March, but then we both got really busy again. The middle of March the emails stopped coming. I emailed him in early April asking him what was up and he was like I know you don't want to hear this, but I started dating a girl from work. If that wasn't a shock I asked him how it happened and his reply was "you didn't call me or email me that much anymore so I thought you weren't interested. One night a group of people went out after work and she told me that she liked me and we hit it off and that's how it happened." Soon after that he told me that he wanted to be friends and stay in contact, but he no longer emails me if I email him he does answer sometimes. If I call him he usually doesn't answer or call back (Just for the record I don't try all that often). Not only was it a slap in the face it came out of no where. Does anyone have any comments or advice on this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 11:31pm
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear the ending, but it seems as though you too genuinely hit it off. There could be a possibility that he still cares about you the same. Unfortunately, from my experience, guys get lonely very easily. When the one they really want can't be with them or she doesn't give him the time of day, they start looking in other places. It may not necessarily mean that he doesn't feel anything for you, but just that he's testing the waters. Maybe you should too. Try seeing other guys and maybe you'll find someone worth your time. Honestly, if it's meant to be then things will work out for you two. I hope I helped some.
Steph
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2005
Mon, 07-04-2005 - 10:20pm
Thank you your advice did help some. I now feel that maybe I wasn't reading into everything. When I found out my first reaction was she was in the right place at the right time. I know he has gone through a lot in the past year and I feel bad that I was not able to physically be there for him. You can talk and email all you want, but sometimes you just need someone there in person. I have asked to see him, but he does not respond to me when I ask him. I am sad that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but the worst part about it is that we used to be good friends before any of this started. We could tease eachother about anything and the next minute be completely serious. I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss the quiet intimate moments because I very much do, but I think I miss the friendship more. I have tried going out and meeting other guys, but as of yet I haven't found anyone that I have an interest in (it's only been a little over 2 months).