Did I say way too much?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Did I say way too much?
3
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 11:07am

Hi everyone… I would appreciate any advice or friendly thoughts

Recently I have been dating a guy and I really really like him. I feel pretty strongly for him and I can not explain why; in all rational thought I shouldn’t. I like just being around him it’s a connection I never find myself feeling for another person. So at first things were going really well and then it sort of slowed down but there was still definitely a connection felt by both of us. It was frustrating I wanted to pursue a relationship and for complicated reasons he is hesitant…. so I have been trying to play it cool. So last night he called for a quick hello and I just bust out and completely exposed my feelings for him. I mean I told him Everything! I told him drives me nuts that I really like being with him.. that I could be someone else or no one ( that’s fine too) but I wanted to be with him. He did not know what to say I sort of blindsided him I think.

He said we should talk tomorrow (today) let him do some thinking. He is supposed to stop by my house today at 3pm and I am totally freaked out. I feel a number of emotions: embarrassment, hesitation, excitement, and utter fear. What am I going to say to him? ( I think I have said plenty already) What is he going to say to me? What if he doesn’t even come over? Actually that may not be so bad at least that way I know how he feels and I can move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:28am
I know how you feel.......I have a man who I have been on and off with for the past 3 years..........I love him so much it's just sometimes we but heads and ........he is in the army and he will be coming back later on this month...........but I e-mailed him yesturday letting him know that I want to give us another try .....I typed him a long e-mail just exspressing my feelings....and now just like you I am waiting for his reply.....which is today..........I don't think there is anything wrong in letting someone you really care about know how you feel ....so I hope everything works out for you.........and I hope everything works out for me.........please keep me posted .......
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 12:37pm
There is nothing wrong with being honest about how you feel for him. It is better that you tell him now than continue on with your relationship and have him later on tell you he doesn't have the same feelings for you. If he feels the same way as you do, he will be grateful that you opened up to him. So how did your talk go?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:13pm

Well, since tomorrow is here, I guess we'll have to wait and hear from you on how it went!

As for sharing your feelings, I have two points of view on this: on one hand, you should never feel embarrassed for telling someone how you really feel. There's nothing wrong with being honest about that.

On the other hand, there's the question of timing. You didn't say how long you've been dating him or if you've established exclusivity? If not, he may feel some pressure from what you shared with him. Which, could scare him off.

I know, there are a lot of people who will say "you can't scare someone off who's on the same page?" ... and in general, I do agree with that. But, in all honesty, I do believe there is a potential to scare off a perfectly good guy if it's all laid out on the table too soon.

Because, you see, many women often have a tendency to want to "boil the ocean" in one fell swoop ... rather than letting the pot simmer and build up to a boil. In other words, you can express your feelings little by little ... which takes the pressure off ... while things progress naturally.

Anyhoo, I hope he didn't blow off coming over. But, if he did, he was probably just a little overwhelmed. Give it some space and let it simmer.

But, if he did come over, you'll have to let us know how it went. :)