Do I stay or do I go?
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Do I stay or do I go?
| Tue, 09-27-2005 - 4:08pm |
I have this male friend named "Tom". We met a few years ago at a work event and have kept in touch, phone calls, e-mails, he was my date for New Year's Eve after the first year we met. He lives is Missouri and I live in Texas. He works for a large company and I work for a nonprofit. Here is my dilemma, we talk on the phone every evening for at least 1 1/2 hours, with text messages and phone calls throughout the day with a joke and "how's your day?" He has repeatedly asked me if I would consider moving to where he is to work for the same company. He e-mails the jobs I would qualify for etc. He is a single dad and on a very hot career track. Whenever we are together he makes subtle hints and sits close to me, stays at my apartment (couch), asks me to go on vacation .... He also always says stuff like, I am glad we are friends, good friends are hard to find, blah blah blah. Should I consider moving? My job is great but I am starting to feel like there is more to life than 12 hour days and Lean Cuisine nights. I had promised myself 5 years at this job and have been here for almost 3. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Have you ever gambled and moved for love and it worked out?

If I were you, I'd do some serious thinking. Like, are you moving in with him? Near him? What if you two end up hating each other, and I mean HATING each other (and please don't say that will never happen, cuz it does)? Will you be happy working at the same company? Living near him? What if you live with him, can you afford to live alone? what if you hate the area? hate his kid? etc?
If you're thinking of moving, the main thing would be, are you moving independently by yourself, or are you moving because of him?
And lastly, there are MANY couples who have moved and made it, but then, there are MANY couples who have moved and NOT made it. I say, it depends on how REAL you are with yourself on the why's of moving, what if it doesn't work out, will you be living independently or not? If you're real about it, I think it can work (oops, assuming HE is real about it too).
Just some things for you to think about.