Does this mean he wants to possibly get back together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2013
Does this mean he wants to possibly get back together?
3
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 5:07pm

I've been dating this guy for 3 months. We recently decided to stop seeing each other because I want a relationship and he's so busy with work that he has a tendency to put his relationships last. (I'm 28, he's 25) However, he wants to remain in touch. I told him "Alright, let's just be friends." He says "Please don't ignore my phone calls and text messages from now on, I care about you and don't want you to disappear from my life."

I know its a silly question, but does this mean he hopes to possibly get back together again in the future?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Yes, there is a high probability that is on his mind, he is making is making it clear he wants you in his life which isn't typical of the usual breakup cliches. The problem is the timeline - someone who values work over other things, doesn't change overnight and may actually never really change. So the timeline may be 5 - 60 years of you two ever dating again. He had his chance to balance both now, but chose only work instead. You probably want more in your life than just waiting and hoping for years for something that may end up never happening. 
 
You're 28 and the memories of the three months may be nice, but you have a lot of opportunities to continue to meet people to date. One of them will be ready to value a relationship with you now.
 
So as difficult as it may be, I think you should still back off from contacting this guy much right now. You clearly have feelings for him and the more you continue to stay in contact, the more it may give you false hope and hold you up from moving forward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

It could also mean that he just wants to be friends.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012

MsLili84 wrote:
<p><span style="color:#333333; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px">I've been dating this guy for 3 months. We recently decided to stop seeing each other because I want a relationship and he's so busy with work that he has a tendency to put his relationships last. (I'm 28, he's 25) However, he wants to remain in touch. I told him "Alright, let's just be friends." He says "Please don't ignore my phone calls and text messages from now on, I care about you and don't want you to disappear from my life."<br /><br />I know its a silly question, but does this mean he hopes to possibly get back together again in the future?</span></p>

maybe... but unless his workload drops off, then would you be willing to always be relegated to beingworth just an occasional phone call or text message? 

People make time for what/who is important to them.  He wants you to give him what he wants, but he doesn't want to give you what you want.  That's called being at an impasse.