dont kno wut to do. help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
dont kno wut to do. help.
1
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 5:20pm
I have a boyfriend that I love. But he is not showing any affection whatsoever. I have tried to talk to him about that all he tells me is that he is not going to change. Sometimes I think that it is because of what his ex did to him. She broke his heart. But I dont want to use that has an excuse he shouldnt b like that. Only when we r having sex he is affectionate. Then there is this friend that I have and he is so nice and had been there for me. I am kind of starting to feel something for him. I judt dont kno what to do. Should I leave my boyfriend that I love for my friend?? It would be nice if anyone can comment. Or anyother advice it will be thanked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 5:49pm
My ex boyfriend was like that too, showed hardly any affection and there were several other problems as well. I left because I just was never going to be happy in that situation. A relationship should have affection, emotion and intimacy or else it's not a relationship. So you mentioned that you did talk to him about wanting him to be more affectionate and his response was that you can't change him? I don't think that is the appropriate response. If he cared about you he could tell you that he will try to be more affectionate, maybe it might be hard for him to change that, but the least he could do is try for you and sometimes I believe you can do things that seem unnatural at first and then they become natural later on. I wouldn't go for your friend right now since you are still in this relationship and the only reason why you might be feeling something for your friend is that you are feeling like something is missing in your current relationship. Let that be for awhile and until you are out of the relationship you are in now and healed then maybe pursue something with your friend. I would say for now to communicate how you feel with your current boyfriend and if you don't get the response you want or things don't change and you are unhappy then leave and THEN you'll have time to think about whether you want to pursue something with this other guy.