don't know what 2 do--
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don't know what 2 do--
| Tue, 11-29-2005 - 10:47pm |
i've never written to no discussion board b4-but here goes---this might be kind of long but here it goes--i met CHERYL wayyyy back in 1983 she was 15 yrs old and i was 19 and in the us air force--we dated for about a year and a half--trust me this lady and i were meant 2 b 2gether --she is the girl all men dream of--intelligence--smarts--g8 looks--very clean and healthy--any way i had gotten cheryl pregeant at 15 --only thing is i didn't know--i was being honorably discharged and i was stationed in mass and my home is here in new orleans louisiana. i had no-choice but go home--all these years that have gone by--my father was taking her phone calls at my mom n dad's house and i wasn't getting no messages due to the fact that my father was keeping us apart, cheryl had always--she said called me on my birthday to wish me a happy birthday but again i wouldn't get the message.2 weeks after i had been home i had gotten a call from some female stating that cheryl had an abortion --when i found this out i broke down in front of my navy seal buddy.i've tried 2 call her but to of no avail.over the long years that have passed--we have kept in contack with each other but on a very very small scale-we never really got to know each other real well,but we would always say to each other we loved each other and we meant it..in 1986 i enlisted in the usmc and pushed my way up the ranks from e-3 to e-5 fast because of prior military experience and a certain speciality i have.in 1991 after the war was over i contacked a private detective friend of mine and he got a phone number and we were on 3rd party on the phone so i don't know who's number it was--but the woman on the other end was telling me to forget about cheryl, that she was happily married and had kids, well needless to say i was heart broken again. i did inded meet some1 who i though would be my lifelong soulmate and best friend--her name is belinda. belinda and i went thur 14 years of marriage but b4 we got married i had know and dated her for 6 yrs . b4 marrying belinda i had contacked cheryl to see how she still felt about me when of course that unfortant phone call that left me really heart broken real bad--however since me n belinda had been staying 2gether 4 so long and after being pressured by my father--we got married--over the years it's been like we were just married and not happily---belinda cheated on me 2 times during the 20 years we had been together and like the fool i am i got back together with her.NOW shoot forward to febuary 2005 cheryl called my mom's house up to wish me a happy birthday but this time dad wasn't around to answer the call because 5 years prior my mom divorced him, so i got the message on the answering machine and i was very nervous but 2 days later i called her up. oh god when we talked--we talked for hours on end--it was as if the pilot light was lit but when we started talking again the fire began to get brighter and hotter. cheryl still loved n cared for me very much and every thing seemed perfect.she came down in may and again in august right b4 hurricane katrina.both times were the best --it's like god wanted us together. we--cheryl n i had made plans to hook up--to actually move in with each other--now cheryl over the years has had 6 kids and she had stated over n over again that she was giving up her kids 4 me..mean while we would both work on getting divorces.my wife has let herself go--doesn't clean up like she used too--i do the cleaning--she won't go get her ged--i have college behind me..our marriage has hit rock bottom and definitly wasn't going no-where.cheryl and i had been talking on the phone alot bringing up the phone bill for me to 500 and 600 dollars a month . we had been texting each other every day like crasy and getting on yahoo's messenger service and talking every night.. we got to know each other really well.this has been going on since febuary up to the point hurricane katrina hit and then hardly any communication with each other becasuse me and the wife had to evauate to mississippi. we had been there for 7 weeks and cheryl and i could hardly communicate with each other because i was being watched by her very disfuctional family --every time i got on the phone i was being watched--when i wanted to get away to go make a call--some1 always made an excuse to ride with me--etc etc. now i felt like i was in prison n i was in a state of shock being what was going on back home in new orleans.and i had said some mean things to cheryl over the phone which really was intentinally. i can't begain to describe the things i went thur in mississippi with her family, lets just say it was pure hell and my mind was a mess.now while we were up there in miss. my wife got hold of my cell phone with a text message from cheryl stating that if she lost me again she wouldn't know what she would do. my wife went ballastic. cheryl did in fact help my wife's family communicate with each other because we were having major cell phone problems up there in miss. i must have gotten hundreds of call dropped or call failed--this was me trying to reach cheryl.it was one night i was talking to cheryl and belinda and i were getting ready to go back home to new orleans. cheryl was supossed to come down in sept to live with me permanentily but she told me over the phone that she couldn't do it--that she needed 3 to 5 more months to spend with her kids one last time--i kept telling her we would get 2gether and that we would fight to get her kids with her--2 of them are off to colledge and 4 remain at home.i told cheryl that she has 2 weeks to get herself down here or i would go find some1 else. i know i shouldn't have said that now but at the time i was with the disfuctional family and cheryl and i had spent 21 years apart and i felt that was enough time.cheryl had stated that night that well she better start packing her things. 2 nights go by and i call her up and cheryl told me it wasn't no easy decision but that she couldn't leave her kids and that she wasn't coming down and that it was over for us.i felt like blowing my brains out right then and there--i was more than heart broken.well i went home to start work again--i run my own home improvement business. my wife came down 2 days later following me, i though we were over with every since she got the text message on my phone.but she moved back in and we began to fight bad--i told her to get out--it was my place and in my name besides she had places to go and i didn't. now my wife keeps coming around making sure i'm fed--i can't cook and generally checking up on me--she says that unless cheryl is here--she will continue to come here to make sure i'm ok.now cheryl and i had been talking and she had left her husband back in august/sept--cheryl was being emotionally and mentallitly abused by her husband.cheryl turned up pregeant in the month of sept and 2 weeks later had a miscarriage. it was mine and at first i though cheryl was just saying this that she was pregeant just to make sure she keeps me and i asked her if she was just saying this to keep me--she got upset but afterwards i said good she was pregeant and it would be g8 to look forward to a baby. i was so damn happy, but she lost it.cheryl and i talk but maybe once a day now some times not at all--i don't know what to do --i am very lost n very confused. i DEFINITLY want to be a part of cheryl's life but she doesn't know if i am the man for her now. there's alot more to this real life soap opera here than what i can write down here, but if cheryl doesn't want me to be in her life and it's finished between me and my wife--i see no other reason other than my growing home improvement business to stick around--since there is nothing left here for me--i will proberly go back to iraq and most likly won't be coming back.... i love cheryl with all my heart and soul and would go to the ends of the earth for her--i even told her i would move up there to mass. but she told me no..... dear people--i need help i'm only good at home improvements and not human relations ....i don't know where to turn too for help---i don't know what i should do----in january or early febuary is when i could go to iraq.... please help a desperate man --i don't want to live without cheryl........thanks
Signatures On
| Thu, 12-01-2005 - 3:19pm |
Listen 2 me honey... Any woman that wil give up her own flesh and blood for anyone or anything might not be as good as she seems. Sweety "blow your brains out?" You can't be that much in love. My older brother is a Marine, do you have an option to go or are those your orders? I believe that you and your wife werent doing good partly because you were concentrating on cheryl. Now that things didnt work out w/u and her.. why dont you work on your marriage? You loved her enough to say "I do".You might as well appreciate belinda or even try working on yourself. Honey I'm gonna pray for you .....
