The End of "He still thinks we're 16"

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
The End of "He still thinks we're 16"
2
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:17am
Hi,
I don't know if you guys read my posts before, but as it turns out my relationship with him didn't work after all. He became impatient and started using drugs constantly. He lied to some girl and is now with her. I still am in disbelief of this. It's so crazy how he can do this again. He still says he wants to be with me someday. He is messed up in the head. For the women who were helping me before, you were right all along. We are on two different wave lengths now and I feel as though I don't really know him anymore. I thought about it last night when I found out and I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him. He is not serious about relationships at all. It's just a game to him. I couldn't trust him I haven't trusted him for a while now. My heart has been trying to tell me move on but I didn't want to listen. I don't hate him. I just feel sorry for him. He now reminds me of my sister's ex. He cheated on her so many times and still told her that he wanted to be with her. Now he's a really big loser who doesn't have a stable job. He's always constantly on some drug also. I do fear though that b/c of Ryan's drug usage, I'm going to end up hearing about him overdosing. I hope not, but sometimes people just don't want to live. That's all he's doing. He's dying. I already consider him dead. It's strange I haven't cried at all. I just feel this gnawing in my stomach and a change in my head. I felt like there was a cloud in my brain now it's going away. The pain in my stomach is probably just anxiety. I can't believe it still. He's pathetic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Unfortunatellym his priority is drugs and not you or the relationship. Addiction is like that, nothing matter but the drugs. You haven't cried or else because you've come to accept the facts. His comment of "wanting to be with you someday" may have been truth, but then his addiction is his life and it may be for the rest of his life. Kudos to you for having the courage to leave a toxic relationship. Pray for him that he some day has the courage to quit his addiction and go into rehab.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Thank you...I knew he had a problem with drugs from the start. Eversince we were 16, he would smoke so much pot all of the time. Of course after using that drug you look for things that are stronger and now he can't go a day without having something in his system. He's taking ritalin and cocaine. I don't really know much about ritalin except for the fact that it's used for hyperactive kids. I fear he'll keep on going. Keep going deeper into drugs until he doesn't even know who he is. I already see that in him. It's unfortunate b/c he used to be such a great guy. When he wasn't high. He was such a sweet guy and it seems as though that's his way of pretending to be a "badass" as he calls himself. He just wants to fit in. I know his good friends even tell him to slow it down but he doesn't listen. He keeps getting worse. There was a time when I thought it was my fault b/c of what happened to us when we were younger, but it isn't my fault this is what he chose to do not me. I didn't push him to do drugs. He could have worked it out with me, but no he chose to disappear. Just like he's doing now. All that I hope is that he doesn't kill himself by accident and that he can find true happiness. I hope I can too :).