Is this the end of the honeymoon period?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Is this the end of the honeymoon period?
2
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 6:31pm

My dbf and I met in August 2003 and had a LDR for six months. Then, we lost contact with one another for a year. In February, after I'd moved back to my hometown permanently (until college is done, anyway.) we got back together. The first month of our relationship was blissful. We saw one another a few times a week,talked every day, saw each other almost every weekend and went on a trip to Mexico together. After we got back from Mexico, we didn't see much of each other. (He is working an insane schedule with one full-time job and two part time ones for the school year because he wanted to save money for the down payment on his house. Now that he has saved the amount that he wants to, he will go back to work as usual for the next school year.) (I am a full-time student in college who is taking a rigourous load.) We never spend more than an hour or two together any more and even that is only every few weeks. We talk on the phone about twice a week. I feel like we are growing apart and that scares me, as I want to become his wife.
My dbf reassures me that he still loves me as much as ever and that he is content in our relationship. He says that once the summer comes and the school year ends, we'll be able to see one another much more often.

I talked to my best friend about my concerns and she says that it's normal for a relationship to cool down after the initial heat of infatuation. The couple isn't as clingy or physically close to one another as they were in the initial few weeks/months of the relationship.

Am I right? Does this sound like such a thing is happening in our relationship?

BTW: My dbf is 29, a High School teacher. I am 21 and a college student.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 8:17pm

Your friend is right that relationships tend to cool down after a while. But I think when you reach that point in the relationship, that's when you get to see if it really is the person and the relationship you want or not. Sometimes you find that you were just in love with the idea of being in love all along, and that without that initial excitement, you don't want the relationship anymore. Other times you find that you still want to be with the other person even when things are cooler.

It does seem odd that he was able to find that much time to spend with you in February, but now he can only find a couple of hours every couple of weeks. However, if he really is that wonderful of a guy that he has all the qualities you're looking for in a life-long mate, then I would give him another chance and see how things go when he's free in the summer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 9:09pm

rosewater:

Thank you for your advice.

I'll see if things look up after June 20th. If he can't take the time to see me with all of the free time that he has in the summer, then I will be more prone to call foul.