The end isn't always, the end

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
The end isn't always, the end
15
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 9:11pm

You know, not in all cases but sometimes, when things go wrong and a couple makes a split, in the end or down the road a bit they do reconcile. And it is for the better, ie. not going down the same sad road again or making mistakes. Maybe they realize what they meant to each other and in the future try a bit harder to make it work instead of just quiting so easily.

All of these posts are so sad and hopeless.

Anyone here, ever have a happy ending after a breakup?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 9:33pm
I've never been happily reunited, but I have been happily freed! It takes a while after the break up, but if the relationship wan't meant to happen, I usually feel very good about being on my own again afterwards.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 8:29am

I know it's cheesy, but it is so very true if we just open ourselves up to it. "Whenever a door is closed another is opened."

There are three things in life we should never, ever surrender and noone can ever truly take unless we give them over ourselves: freedom, love, and hope. And the most important of those three is HOPE, because with hope you can reclaim the other two. The only people who are ever turly lost are those who give up.

Yes, breakups suck and they hurt, but we can learn and grow from them and ultimately end up with better partners because of them. Breakups shouldn't be hopeless.

There's a cheesy line in the movie "Romancing the Stone" someone says to the Kathleen Turner's character, "You're such a hopeless romantic." and she responds, "HOPEFUL romantic."

Call me chessy but that's what I am I'm a realist and I'm a HOPEFUL romantic. Sure love can be tough but life in general is tough why would love be any different?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 5:06pm

I honestly think you can have a very happy ending after a breakup...and getting back together. It just depends on the maturity level of both parties, how willing they are to "start over", how much they want it, and how much they've learned and grown since the breakup. I have sat here and watched a handful of my friends ATTEMPT to try again....so far, it seems the guys haven't changed one bit, but because my friends have, they see faster how much their SO is an ass to them....so they leave.

However......I was always hopeful for them. Because sometimes, you do need a second chance, at a better time.

Just because you split up, doesn't mean you were NEVER meant to be together, it just means you weren't meant to be together at that time in both your lives.

I think it can happen. In fact, I hope it happens. Because then that gives me hope that people change, for the better, and one day, you may be with someone you never thought you ever would be with again....and have it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 5:38pm

I've had many a happy ending, but not how you are suggesting.

I've felt the incredible freedom of being out of a bad relationship. And I've found that I can find a BETTER relationship than the one I left.

Breakups are not a bad thing....they're simply a new beginning.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:28am

I've recently been in in contact with an ex, we dated for a year and broke up a little over a year and a half ago. He broke up with me and I was very hurt, he wanted to be friends but I told him I couldn't do it.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago, I moved to a new city about 8 months ago but am planning to return to my hometown in about 6 months. I had been thinking about my ex a lot and decided I needed to contact him, I didn't have a number for him anymore so I wrote him a letter. A few days go by and I get a text message from him saying he got my letter and how great it was to hear from me and how he would call me that night. He does and we have a great conversation, he immediately apologizes for how he ended things and said he got scared and that he was sorry he had hurt me and how he handled things. He said he was very happy that I contacted him and he said he takes responsibility for really messing things up. We are now talking almost daily and I'm going to see him when I go home for Thanksgiving. We have said we'll be friends at the least and see what happens from there so we're both on the same page.

Looking back we could never have worked out before, I have changed a lot (in my opinion for the better) and he also seems to have matured. I'm not sure what the future holds but I do think if we ultimately get back together we are both better people now.

So, yes I do think it can work out but I think it depends entirely on the people involved obviously. On the other hand, there are also exes who I really don't care to ever see again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 11:43am
Yes people do get back together at times b/c life is funny that way. God has a plan for everybody and even though at times it may seem like the worst plan ever he knows what's best. The end isn't always the end because on never knows. It's all like a big mystery! I once thought it was the end and then he came back 8 months later. I felt like I was walking on clouds until he left again. ergh! Hopefully people have better stories :D
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 2:13pm
My story isn't any better. I recently went back to an ex thinking that things would change this time around but I realized very quickly that they weren't going to change. I'm really disappointed and sad but i know I must get out there and start new. I believe if both parties are mature enough and willing to listen to eachother's needs and wants and be willing to fix those things for eachother and have a definate plan on how they will fix things it will work, otherwise it won't, period. In my story, I was the only ready and willing mature person in the situation. My ex would always say "I'll try or I'm trying my best but his actions would not show that he was trying, so either he was incapable or unwilling to work on them. If you have one party that's not willing or has their head in their clouds or is in denial then it will definately not work the second time around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 2:28pm
you are so right about that. The second time around I really gave it my all! I mean I did everything right and it was from the heart so it all came natural. He was just mean b/c he still didn't put thins behind him and wouldn't allow his heart to get too involved. Funny thing is that sometimes you know the love is gone because you feel it but in my case I felt he loved me and that brought me so much joy! Whether he will come back again with a 100% forgiving heart I don't know but I tried and got hurt. It still hurts!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 5:08pm
Hugs, I know how you feel. The problem is that you can really love him and he can still really love you (this is the case with me and my ex and sounds like your situation too) but if one person is not there willing and wanting to take some serious steps to work on things, then it won't work and even if both parties are willing it still can be extremely difficult to change things and might not be possible. It's really tough letting go, I'm still struggling and I don't want to have to start over but the reality of the situation is that I will never be happy with my ex unless he does change some things and I can't expect him to change if he doesn't want to do it for HIMSELF and not just for me. I still love him and always will probably but he'll never be able to make me happy and hopefully someone else out there will be able to. I'm just not feeling it now though, I am dreading the dating world and opening my heart up to someone new.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 7:59pm

My (now) husband and I dated for a year, things moved too fast, we (both) had some issues to work through, we split, and over a year later, still cared about each other, we tried again, and have been back together for over a year, and were married in July. We both were able to spend that time apart working on our own problems and making changes in our lives. Everything happens for a reason, and we both grew in ways that we would not done while we were split up. Things are very different now.

We do have happy endings.

Good luck to all.

Carrie

 

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