Ex BF back from overseas. Mixed signals.
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|Mon, 11-02-2009 - 12:30pm|
I dated a great military man for 3 years, the last 6 months of the relationship he was overseas. I'm sure he was under tons of stress, but I can't help but feel him pulling away from me emotionally as the months went on during his tour. I tried to be there for him as much as I could: talking to him everyday, sending him packages, letters and being very supportive. We started fighting near the end about our plans to live together when he returns home. I didn't want to move in as soon as he came home because of his behavior changes, he felt we were ready to take the next step right away.
I feel that because I wasn't committing to an apartment with him, he started letting another woman flirt with him. She lives in my town and I was getting very upset over it, and ultimately she also became part of the reason for our fights. His refusal to completely get rid of her because they work together upset me, she started sending him packages as well.
Anyways, we broke up the last month he was overseas and didn't talk to each other for his remaining tour. When he returned home, I called him and talked to him about giving it another try. So we started dating again and I felt like he was changed, not the man I knew before. I didn't feel like his heart was in it, he moved into an apartment without me and had changed his mind about me moving in with him. He didn't seem to be romantic with me anymore and he started gambling and drinking heavy. I broke up with him a month later and said it was final. He suffers from PTSD and he still wanted me to be friends with him. He kept calling me, emailing me. He was saying strange things like he "should have died fighting for his country overseas" or he "always wants me to be in his life". In terms of our relationship he tells me "I know we shouldn't get back together I just miss being close with you and being intimate" or "I know we're friends but I think of you often". This really hurt me, and my friends told me the break up was too messy to even remain in contact.
So I started blocking him from social networking sites and emails. He would call me from different phone numbers, and I tried for a while to block every single one. I texted him and told him that I was changing my number, that I can't do this anymore. He got really angry, saying that I'm abandoning him and "Have a nice Effing life". I changed my number anyway and I haven't heard from him up until 2 weeks ago. It's been 2 months since I talked to him last and he is still emailing one of my old email accounts, asking me if I'm okay, saying he's sorry for how he's acted and acknowledging in his email he was at fault for our break up. I don't get it. Does he still love me? Is he feeling regrets and wants to make it work? I'm so confused because I want to be with him, but I'm wondering if this will hurt me in the end. I don't know what his intentions are or if I should leave it in the past. I also want to add that I don't know if his PTSD has gotten worse...