The ex boyfriend
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The ex boyfriend
| Sat, 06-18-2005 - 10:35pm |
My ex boyfriend and I dated for a year and half and for the most part I was really happy and in love. But towards the end we started fighting alot and just had alot of disagreements of how our relationship should be and what we expected out of each other. So in January I broke up with him. It was one of the hardest things I did because I still had feelings for him but felt like there was alot missing. At this time he was still in wrestling season on campus and I was home for Christmas break so I knew I wouldn't have to face him until Second semester started up again. He was distracted with wrestling and I was distracted with things going on home that I didn't think about what I had done and he didn't think about what I had done either. Now it brings us up to Febuary...wrestling is done and I'm starting to talk to another guy. My ex starts calling me all ofo the time crying bagging for me back and apologizing up and down for everything he had done in our relationship. The next few weeks/rest of the semester were interesting. I started dating a guy from back home and couldnt' find the courage to tell my ex. I had already done enough damage to him. In the back of my head I wondered if i was doing the right thing but I thought I was. My ex would get crazy drunk and he's not really a drinker...but he'd call and just yell at me for breaking his heart and messing up his world. He was bringing both of us down. One day he's be yelling at me the next he'd be apologizing telling me he loves me. School year ended and once again I went home and he went home for the summer....12 hours away from each other..I thought it would be good for him and I...He wouldn't be able to run into me on campus and I thought maybe he's clear his mind. Well the last few weeks I've done nothing but think about him and wonder what he is doing...the first couple weeks of the summer were rough he'd call and was realy angry towards me and said he never wanted to talk to me again so I stopped keeping in touch with him...but then he called apologized same ritual. He's told me he is getting over me now and he's actually started hanging out with some girls..man o man did that make me jealous...and I try so hard for it not to but I can't help it. Just the other night we stayed up until 2am talking about the good times we had together. I'm very happy in the relationship I'm in right now but I have this weird feeling that my ex and I still belong together like he's who I'm supose to be with....am I playin gmind games with myself or should I really listen to what I'm feeling inside.....

This is why we advocate "no contact" with ex's.
You'll either give in and have the same problems as before, or you'll end contact with him completely and move on with your life and let him move on with his.
I think what is really going on is that you've put the rose tinted glasses back on because he's moving on. Don't sweat it, it happens to all of us. It's always hard to hear the ex has moved on even if you're the one who ended it and even if you know you did it for good reasons.
Heck I was a little jealous when I found out my abusive ex got married less then a year after I dumped him. All the sudden I felt insecure and found myself wondering if maybe she had been able to bring out the good in him I couldn't. It was NUTS!
My point is, it's perfectly normal to experience what you are feeling after you hear that an ex has moved on. It isn't any indication that you should be with that person it's just a perfectly normal emotional response to knowing that the door has closed behind you. A little like in a scary movie when the door blows shut behind the protaganist. It's just unsettling knowing you can't go back there, even if it wasn't all that great to begin with.