Ex Factor

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2005
Ex Factor
3
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 11:21am

good morning,

I'm perplexed about some recent events that happend btwn my bf and I... yesterday, while we were on our way to the grocery store his cell phone was ringing, he didn't answer it. i didn't think anything of it at the time, until his phone rung again this time he answers it and tells the person on the other end that he would call them back - at this point the phone started ringing like crazy - i asked him who it was and he told me nobody then i asked again and he said "why don't people get the pic, when you don't answer/return any of their phone calls - why do they keep calling?" then he said that its his ex - in response, i went off - i told him that he was lying to me about what is actually happening btwn them and that he knows exactly why she's calling... needless to say, that ruined my afternoon. (BACKGROUND) - last weekend he openly talked to me about the exact same thing - i had no idea they were still communicating until he said something...

so, when we got home he proceeded to tell me that i have nothing to worry about she doesn't even live here & that when he's with someone its all or nothing. at that point, we kinda kissed and made up.

i thought everything was fine until he didn't want to have sex last night. his reason being was that i had made a comment a couple of weeks ago that everytime we saw each other he wanted to have sex, he said that we weren't going to have sex yesterday to proove me wrong. now, if we wouldn't had an argument about his ex earlier - i would have been delighted to know that he listens and takes my feelings into consideration but since we did have an argument i'm wondering if this could of had something to do w/it.

i guess i'm torn b/c i've been here before both the cheater and the one that has been cheated on. i would like to give this new relationship all that i have but i feel as though i can't b/c of fear of being hurt. what would you do in this situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: ravishingbeauty
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 4:11pm

Hon, you're thinking too much.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
In reply to: ravishingbeauty
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 3:59pm
I see warning signs. Trust your instincts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: ravishingbeauty
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 10:05am
It's never good when a person stays in contact w/ an ex. I think it's a very uncomfortable situation 4 the new girlfriend. Especially when ur the last 2 find out. I just wouldnt trust this situation at all. If he is just friends w/ her then why cant he answer the phone? However, I dont think that it has anything 2 do w/ why he didnt sleep w/u. I think that in that case he was being honest. I would just sit him down and clarify the situation. Let him know what ur & are not comfortable w/ with re: to the x. I mean it could very well be that they have an innocent friendship BUT then why get crazy & keep calling his cell as though he still owes her something? I know that I am friends with my ex fiance & I speak to him here & there sometimes more than other times BUT if he doesnt answer I dont go crazy I realize that he is porbably with his G/F & he'll call me asa he can. I know that she has no idea that he speaks to me so I try & meet him half way with that. It;s not that we have a secret love affair that she can not know about rather she is threatened by me & the past he & I shared so I respect that & their relationship. My advise is sit him down & find a medium so no one gets hurt. Goodluck & keep us posted :D