feeling emotional and needing some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2005
feeling emotional and needing some help
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 2:23am

ok, here is the situation. i am in my early twenties and as i am not the most gorgeous person around, i have not really had a relationship. i just graduated college. during my freshman year at school i started talking to a guy online that my roommate talked to. well, over the years we have become really good friends. sophomore year we fooled around once and i thought i was comfortable with that, then i was kind of upset about the fact that he didnt want more than a friendship, so our relationship was a lil wierd for about a yr. then i went to visit him again...we hung out and we fooled around and this time it was all well and good (this was about a yr ago now). we have seen a lot of each other and have now had sex. we have discussed it and we are both aware of the fact that we are pretty much in a relationship, the only thing missing is the title. now he has trust and insecurity issues related to past experiences and what not. i have self-esteem issues at times and am completely inexperienced in the relationship department.

i have been very emotional lately, and i am feeling like i dont know if i ccan handle a relationship. i spent the night at his place lastnight and i started getting tearful laying in bed with him. and not a happy tearful, a sad tearful, and i dont know why. i really like him and hes a really nice guy. i know he would never do anything to hurt me. i dont know, i am just wondering how normal of a feeling this is. i believe i forgot to mention that he lives almost 2 hours away from here. he has talked about moving closer within a couple years and has jokingly, but i think half seriously said to me and some of his friends that we'll know when we get married. i mean, i know that nothing would have to change if we put the title in place, but i have serious doubts about whether or not i can handle a relationship. he is a very sensative guy, in fact probably too sensative, but i care a lot about him and i think he cares about me too. in fact, in a text message and the other night on the phone he said "luv ya"...not quite and i love you, but similar.

i dont really know what kind of a response i am looking for here, i am just feeling anxious and confused and insecure.